Lesson 1:
A man is getting into the shower just as his wife is finishing up her shower, when the doorbell rings.
The wife quickly wraps herself in a towel and runs downstairs. When she opens the door, there stands Bob, the next-door neighbour. Before she says a word, Bob says, "I'll give you $800 to drop that towel."
After thinking for a moment, the woman drops her towel and stands naked in front of Bob. After a few seconds, Bob hands her $800 and leaves. The woman wraps back up in the towel and goes back upstairs.
When she gets to the bathroom, her husband asks, "Who was that?"
"It was Bob the next door neighbour," she replies.
"Great!" the husband says, "did he say anything
about the $800 he owes me?"
Moral of the story:
If you share critical information pertaining to credit and risk with your shareholders in time, you may be in a position to prevent avoidable exposure

Lesson 2:
A priest offered a Nun a lift.
She got in and crossed her legs, forcing her gown to reveal a leg.
The priest nearly had an accident. After controlling the car,
he stealthily slid his hand up her leg. The nun said, "Father, remember Psalm 129?"
The priest removed his hand. But, changing gears, he let his hand slide up her leg again.
The nun once again said, "Father, remember Psalm 129?"
The priest apologised "Sorry sister but the flesh is weak."
Arriving at the convent, the nun went on her way.
On his arrival at the church, the priest rushed to look up Psalm 129.
It said, "Go forth and seek, further up, you will find glory."
Moral of the story:
If you are not well informed in your job, you might miss a
great opportunity

Lesson 3:
A sales rep, an administration clerk, and the manager are walking to lunch when they find an antique oil lamp.
They rub it and a Genie comes out. The Genie says,
"I'll give each of you just one  wish."
"Me first! Me first!" says the admin clerk. "I want to be in the Bahamas, driving a speedboat, without a care in the world."
Puff! She's gone.
"Me next! Me next!" says the sales rep. "I want to be in Hawaii, relaxing on the beach with my personal masseuse, an endless supply of Pina Coladas and the love of my life."
Puff! He's gone.
"OK, you're up," the Genie says to the manager. The manager says, "I
want those two back in the office after lunch."
Moral of the story:
Always let your boss have the first say


Lesson 4
An eagle was sitting on a tree resting, doing nothing.
A small rabbit saw the eagle and asked him, "Can I also sit like you and do nothing?" The eagle answered: "Sure, why not."
So, the rabbit sat on the ground below the eagle and rested.
All of a sudden, a fox appeared, jumped on the rabbit and ate it.
Moral of the story:
To be sitting and doing nothing, you must be sitting very, very high up!!!!!!!!!!!!

 Cake or BED 

 WHICH WOULD U CHOOSE? 

 CAKE OR BED????? 

 A HUSBAND IS AT HOME WATCHING A FOOTBALL GAME 

 WHEN HIS WIFE INTERRUPTS, HONEY, COULD YOU FIX THE LIGHT IN THE 

 HALLWAY? IT'S BEEN FLICKERING FOR WEEKS NOW. 

 HE LOOKS AT HER AND SAYS ANGRILY; FIX THE LIGHT, NOW? 

 DOES IT LOOK LIKE I HAVE A G.E. LOGO PRINTED ON MY FOREHEAD? 

 I DON'T THINK SO! 

 THE WIFE ASKS, WELL THEN, COULD YOU FIX THE FRIDGE DOOR? 

 IT WON'T CLOSE RIGHT. TO WHICH HE REPLIED, FIX THE FRIDGE DOOR? 

 DOES IT LOOK LIKE I HAVE WESTINGHOUSE WRITTEN ON MY FOREHEAD? 

 I DON'T THINK SO. 

 FINE, SHE SAYS THEN YOU COULD AT LEAST FIX THE STEPS TO THE FRONT DOOR? 

 THEY'RE ABOUT TO BREAK. I'M NOT A DAMN CARPENTER AND I DON'T WANT TO 

 FIX STEPS, HE SAYS. DOES IT LOOK LIKE I HAVE ACE HARDWARE 

 WRITTEN ON MY FOREHEAD?

 I DON'T THINK SO.

I'VE HAD ENOUGH OF YOU.  I'M GOING TO THE BAR!!! 

 SO HE GOES TO THE BAR AND DRINKS FOR A COUPLE OF HOURS. HE STARTS TO FEEL GUILTY 

 ABOUT HOW HE TREATED HIS WIFE, AND DECIDES TO GO HOME AND HELP OUT. 

 AS HE WALKS INTO THE HOUSE HE NOTICES THE STEPS ARE ALREADY FIXED. 

 AS HE ENTERS THE HOUSE, HE SEES THE HALL LIGHT IS WORKING. 

 AS HE GOES TO GET A BEER, HE NOTICES THE FRIDGE DOOR IS FIXED. 

 HONEY, HE ASKS, HOW'D ALL THIS GET FIXED? HE SAID, WELL, WHEN YOU LEFT I SAT OUTSIDE 

 AND CRIED. JUST THEN A NICE YOUNG MAN ASKED ME WHAT WAS WRONG, AND I 

 TOLD HIM. HE OFFERED TO DO ALL THE REPAIRS, AND ALL I HAD TO DO WAS EITHER GO 

 TO BED WITH HIM OR BAKE A CAKE. HE SAID, SO WHAT KIND OF CAKE DID YOU BAKE 

 HIM? 

 SHE REPLIED, HELLOOOOO.......DO YOU SEE BETTY CROCKER 

 WRITTEN ON MY FOREHEAD? 

                          I DON'T THINK SO!