FAQ FAQ  Forum Search   Events   Register Register  Login Login

Bazza and the Doctor's Receptionist

Post Options Post Options   Likes (3) Likes(3)   Quote Catchelot Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Topic: Bazza and the Doctor's Receptionist
    Posted: 16 Jul 2018 at 11:54am
Catchelot View Drop Down
Titanium
Titanium
Avatar

Joined: 07 Oct 2008
Location: Whanga-Vegas
Status: Offline
Points: 25962
There is nothing worse than a Doctor's Receptionist who insists you tell her what is wrong with you in a room full of other patients.

I know most of us have experienced this, and I love the way Bazza handled it.

Bazza walked into a crowded waiting room and approached the desk.

The Receptionist said, 'Yes sir, what are you seeing the Doctor for today?'

'There's something wrong with my dick', he replied.

The receptionist became irritated and said, 'You shouldn't come into a crowded waiting room and say things like that. '

'Why not, you asked me what was wrong and I told you,' he said.

The Receptionist replied; 'Now you've caused some embarrassment in this room full of people. You should have said there is something wrong with your ear or something and discussed the problem further with the Doctor in private.'

Bazza replied, 'You shouldn't ask people questions in a roomful of strangers if the answer could embarrass anyone. Bazza walked out, waited several minutes, and then re-entered.

The Receptionist smiled smugly and asked, 'Yes??'

'There's something wrong with my ear,' he stated.

The Receptionist nodded approvingly and smiled, knowing he had taken her advice.. 'And what is wrong with your ear, Sir?'

'I can't piss out of it,' he replied.

The waiting room erupted in laughter...LOL

Mess with seniors, and you're going to lose...ClapClap

"The sea, once it casts its spell, holds one in its net of wonder forever." - Jacques Cousteau
Back to Top
Post Options Post Options   Likes (0) Likes(0)   Quote lingee Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 16 Jul 2018 at 4:46pm
lingee View Drop Down
Platinum
Platinum


Joined: 06 Jul 2009
Status: Offline
Points: 1014
at 65 in December I find that funny as the doctors ring my lovely lady and ask why I have not been to see the doc , she replies with, when I kill him hes all yours. I have not been to a doc in 15 years ,they just what my money I do not have, what I do have goes on fishing . and bazza I piss ok, and my ears and eyes are ok .new drivers licence today .
Back to Top
Post Options Post Options   Likes (0) Likes(0)   Quote Joker Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 16 Jul 2018 at 7:32pm
Joker View Drop Down
Platinum
Platinum


Joined: 09 Dec 2002
Status: Offline
Points: 2230
It would have been funnier if he'd said "I can't S H I T out of it"
Back to Top
Post Options Post Options   Likes (0) Likes(0)   Quote Steps Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 17 Jul 2018 at 9:07am
Steps View Drop Down
Titanium
Titanium


Joined: 14 Oct 2013
Location: Sth Auckland
Status: Offline
Points: 7099
Ever noticed that the  doctors receptionist near always  looks up and asks 
" how are you today?"Ermm

Back to Top
Post Options Post Options   Likes (1) Likes(1)   Quote waynorth Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 17 Jul 2018 at 12:15pm
waynorth View Drop Down
Platinum
Platinum
Avatar

Joined: 06 Mar 2005
Location: Kerikeri
Status: Offline
Points: 1052
It wasn't just his ear that Bazza was having trouble with. 

A tooth had broken, & when the dentist said it would have to come out, Bazza told him to go ahead, but not to bother with local anesthetic as he didn't feel pain nowadays and he was saving his money for an upcoming fishing trip. 

The dentist smiled knowingly, and pointed out that extractions were actually very painful, and that he strongly recommended the anesthetic. Bazza again declined, saying that ever since the Great Pain he just didn't feel any pain at all. The dentist was skeptical but intrigued, and asked Bazza what this Great Pain was.

Bazza explained that in his youth he had been a possum trapper, and one morning he headed off into the bush to clear the gin traps he had set the night before. When he got to the end of the trap line, he became aware nature was calling and he needed to get back to the long drop fairly urgently.

'Half way back', he said, 'I realised I wasn't going to make it, so without really thinking about where I was I moved a few metres off the track, dropped my trousers, and as luck would have it, managed to lower my privates straight into the jaws of one of my gin traps.'

The dentist paled and swallowed a couple of times, before saying 'Yes, well, I imagine a pain event of that intensity may well have shocked your body into switching off its pain mechanism.'

'Oh that wasn't actually the Great Pain' said Bazza. 'It hurt all right, but the Great Pain came when I leaped up and started to run and got to the end of the chain'
treat fish like fish
Back to Top
Post Options Post Options   Likes (1) Likes(1)   Quote Tagit Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 17 Jul 2018 at 1:02pm
Tagit View Drop Down
Moderator - Black Belt
Moderator - Black Belt
Avatar

Joined: 21 Aug 2003
Location: Westhaven, Auck
Status: Offline
Points: 13885
Years back 2 mates and I choppered into a very remote area on a hunting trip. Making camp we came across an old gin trap. One of my mates (Mark) said he was going to set it to catch any possums that visited our camp. wandered into the bush and came back a couple of minute later. Job done.
A couple of nights later we are sitting by the fire after dark and Mark gets up to go for a leak. Wanders off and a short while later we hear him screach. Grab a torch and race over wondering what has happened. Turns out he had put the trap on a fallen log that was leaning against another tree. He had his old fella out and tripped on something so threw out a hand to steady himself and straight into the trap which he then realised he had set at around 'willy' height.
Fortunately the trap was very rusty and the spring very weak so just pain and swelling rather than broken bones or missing fingers. He didn't see the funny side of it but myself and the other guys were laughing for the next few days about our mighty possum trapper.
www.dreamboats.com        Bareboat Charters - Fishing Charters - Corporate and Party Cruises
Back to Top
Post Options Post Options   Likes (1) Likes(1)   Quote bazza Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 17 Jul 2018 at 5:22pm
bazza View Drop Down
Titanium
Titanium
Avatar

Joined: 12 Dec 2006
Location: Mostlyinthepoo
Status: Offline
Points: 14839
Could feel more confidence in doctors if they did not refer to their medical profession as a "practice".
 
 
I very quietly confided to my best friend that I was having an affair.

She turned to me and asked, "Are you having it catered?”     



Back to Top
Post Options Post Options   Likes (1) Likes(1)   Quote kitno Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 17 Jul 2018 at 6:43pm
kitno View Drop Down
Platinum
Platinum


Joined: 06 Sep 2015
Location: Pahoia
Status: Offline
Points: 1977
Top 10 finish
2019 Grunter Hunter.
Back to Top
Post Options Post Options   Likes (0) Likes(0)   Quote Phantom Menace Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 18 Jul 2018 at 10:15am
Phantom Menace View Drop Down
Platinum
Platinum
Avatar

Joined: 28 Jul 2008
Location: Auckland
Status: Offline
Points: 2021
Originally posted by bazza bazza wrote:

Could feel more confidence in doctors if they did not refer to their medical profession as a "practice".
 
 

Only if you are American.

UK / NZ / Australian English would spell that Practise
Back to Top
Post Options Post Options   Likes (4) Likes(4)   Quote bazza Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 19 Jul 2018 at 4:28pm
bazza View Drop Down
Titanium
Titanium
Avatar

Joined: 12 Dec 2006
Location: Mostlyinthepoo
Status: Offline
Points: 14839
Originally posted by Catchelot Catchelot wrote:

There is nothing worse than a Doctor's Receptionist who insists you tell her what is wrong with you in a room full of other patients.

I know most of us have experienced this, and I love the way Bazza handled it.

Bazza walked into a crowded waiting room and approached the desk.

The Receptionist said, 'Yes sir, what are you seeing the Doctor for today?'

'There's something wrong with my dick', he replied.

The receptionist became irritated and said, 'You shouldn't come into a crowded waiting room and say things like that. '

'Why not, you asked me what was wrong and I told you,' he said.

The Receptionist replied; 'Now you've caused some embarrassment in this room full of people. You should have said there is something wrong with your ear or something and discussed the problem further with the Doctor in private.'

Bazza replied, 'You shouldn't ask people questions in a roomful of strangers if the answer could embarrass anyone. Bazza walked out, waited several minutes, and then re-entered.

The Receptionist smiled smugly and asked, 'Yes??'

'There's something wrong with my ear,' he stated.

The Receptionist nodded approvingly and smiled, knowing he had taken her advice.. 'And what is wrong with your ear, Sir?'

'I can't piss out of it,' he replied.

The waiting room erupted in laughter...LOL

Mess with seniors, and you're going to lose...ClapClap

 
Geez Al ... that reminds me of the story of when you went to the doctors for a problem with your "manhood" & had to face the embarrassment of telling the receptionist what you had come for, whilst in the crowded waiting room.
 
Eventually you got to see the doc & handed him the sheet of paper the receptionist had given you outlining the reason for your visit.
 
After reading the note the doc said "well we better have a look at it" whereupon you obliged only to be dismayed when the nurse in attendance went into uncontrollable fits of giggles.
 
The doc took her aside, admonishing her for being so unprofessional & the nurse replied "I am so sorry but could not help myself as it was so tiny ... almost like an undersize cheerio, but I promise not to laugh any more."
 
They returned to the "job in hand" & the doc asked you what exactly was the problem.
 
They both burst out laughing when you replied .... "It's swollen !!!"
 
I very quietly confided to my best friend that I was having an affair.

She turned to me and asked, "Are you having it catered?”     



Back to Top
Post Options Post Options   Likes (0) Likes(0)   Quote Barrie Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 20 Jul 2018 at 10:24am
Barrie View Drop Down
Titanium
Titanium


Joined: 17 Jul 2002
Location: Auckland
Status: Offline
Points: 10429
you got him good with that one Bazza

Back to Top
Post Options Post Options   Likes (0) Likes(0)   Quote pjc Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 20 Jul 2018 at 10:28am
pjc View Drop Down
Titanium
Titanium
Avatar

Joined: 04 Apr 2010
Location: papakura
Status: Offline
Points: 9141
Bazza/Al you have given me food for thought for Doctor visit this afternoon,the receptionist such an old prude.Wink
QMS is not WORKING
Back to Top
Post Options Post Options   Likes (0) Likes(0)   Quote muchalls Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 21 Jul 2018 at 7:26pm
muchalls View Drop Down
Platinum
Platinum
Avatar

Joined: 30 Jan 2011
Location: Bay of Islands
Status: Offline
Points: 1874
Well, I am in fact a doctor, and I’m off to Auckland to help a vet circumcise some elephants.

The pay isn’t great, but the tips are enormous!
Back to Top
Post Options Post Options   Likes (0) Likes(0)   Quote bazza Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 22 Jul 2018 at 10:04am
bazza View Drop Down
Titanium
Titanium
Avatar

Joined: 12 Dec 2006
Location: Mostlyinthepoo
Status: Offline
Points: 14839
Originally posted by muchalls muchalls wrote:

Well, I am in fact a doctor, and I’m off to Auckland to help a vet circumcise some elephants.

The pay isn’t great, but the tips are enormous!
 
Given your expertise in such areas I guess you would know the answer to the question of "What is grey & comes in litres? "
 
No ... it is not paint ... think again !
I very quietly confided to my best friend that I was having an affair.

She turned to me and asked, "Are you having it catered?”     



Back to Top
Post Options Post Options   Likes (0) Likes(0)   Quote bazza Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 29 Jul 2018 at 1:58pm
bazza View Drop Down
Titanium
Titanium
Avatar

Joined: 12 Dec 2006
Location: Mostlyinthepoo
Status: Offline
Points: 14839
So true !!!
I very quietly confided to my best friend that I was having an affair.

She turned to me and asked, "Are you having it catered?”     



Back to Top
Forum Jump
Forum Permissions View Drop Down


This page was generated in 0.162 seconds.