Gidday Stig how’s it going?

Yeah mate really good here ty.

OK so what is it? The burning question on everyones lips ….. Ford or HOLDEN?

Mate, you can stick your Fords & Holdens up ya jacksie! It’s stricktly Lambo’s around here mate!

Ok then, white, red or yellow?

Silver mate, silver … you know like the horse…

Oh ok so you’re a Ferrari fan then?

Mate, are you F****en stupid?? It’s Lambo’s all the way!

Ok, ummm is that like an animal fetish Stig?

Mate, you are f***en stupid aren’t you?

Well yes I am but hey I get a hook up on a marlin every three Frikken hours on my boat.

Mate, we get a big ass bass on my boat every blardy weekend mate.

Ok well that’s pretty flash, so tell me if you could only fish for one species forever and ever what would it be?

Simple mate, it would be GURNARD!

Oh ok so you like that red colour then?

Mate, what are you on about?

Well … red you know … red like a lion…

Mate, are f***en pissed or something?

Well … yes I am, but Mi-Sex is on channel 63 and I’m grooving to the beat of Blue Day.

Mate, you’re *******!

Thanks, Stig but let’s get back to the interview proper, you’ve had your share of attention on Fishing.net. What would you really fish for if there was only one?

 Bass mate, I thought we covered that!

Well you did say gurnard back there.

Mate you added that bit in yourself mate didn’t you?

Well yes I did, it’s like my little fetish.

Fetish? Well now you’re talking mate. I can help you out there.

Sorry Stig I’m not sure we’re on the same wavelength here.

Smudge, there’s something wrong with you mate, you’re not on the same planet as me. What’s your preference blonde or brunette?

Well I like red to be honest.

For ****s sake Smudge, you’re hard work man. Are you talking about women, cars or fish?

Fish, but I’m doing the interview ok?

Not for ****** long you wont be you ******.

OK, this interview isn’t going so well. Let’s make a fresh start. I’ll ask the questions and you answer ok?

About time Smudge now fire away.

OK, blonde, redhead or brunette?

Mate, they’re all good in my eyes, I love them all long time!

OK, good answer Stig. Rap, reggae or disco?

Mate, you’re not taking this seriously are you?

Yes of course I am so what is your favourite music then? James Blunt? Leo Sayer? Deep Purple? Death Metal? Modern Rock?

Modern rock mate, modern rock.

Sweeeet, me too. Can we be mates?

Mate, this interview sucks ****. I’ve had enough of this **** I ‘m going.

Hey, thanks for that Stig. Can I like be your mate and maybe hang out with you? Maybe we could go gurnard fishing sometime?

Mate, you come within ****** ten miles of me mate and I’ll ****en throw you in the ****en water mate.

Ok so how does Saturday sound then?

***** off Smudge! Do you drive a Caldina?

Well that was a laugh. He’s just kidding he likes me I can tell. Maybe there’s something missing in the translation….I’m not sure if even Bushie can make something good from this…