OK OK OK.
You will all be familiar with a certain Doctor, indeed, an eminent surgeon who is known to frequent these forums, particularly during the summer when it is game fishing season.
As you know he is also known to purvey the finest gamefishing lures and provide services in the hook sharpening department. It is the latter which gives cause to this extreme act of muppetry that has inspired his nomination for the Bog Seat.
Our Doctor has one clear rule for hook sharpening. One at a time. Never sharpen the hooks of a twin hook set up while they are still rigged together.
Except on this occasion, excited by the potential of his outstanding new man cave, he neglects to follow his number one rule (next he'll be leaving baitfish to look for marlin).
The hook sharpening device is a common or garden variety bench grinder with a cloth buffing wheel on one side.
He is using the buffing wheel (Gawd me eyes water just thinking about this bit) when the second hook catches in the wheel and before you know it the other hook (a Hays 11/0 no less, nothing small here) rips into the base of his thumb. It only stops when it hits the bone of the thumb joint.
The barb is also embedded in his flesh and we all know what that means, do we not thrill seekers? Yes, it's cutting time.
Our hero considers heading to the local A&E but realises that:-
1: He will first have to get past his wife who will never forgive him for this act of silliness
2: He doesn't fancy sitting around in the hospital corridor among 7 year olds with the flu for the next 17 hours
He sees a solution. Not elegant, but a way out of his predicamnt.
His eyes light upon his trusty Stanley knife. He grasps it, looking somewhat askance at the blunt, pitted blade. Single handed, and still attached via two 11/0 Hays Hooks and a length of stainless wire to the grinder, he is unable to change the blade for a fresh one.
He performs surgery on his hand with the Stanley knife to extract the hook.
(I have never heard the good Doctor swear). On this occasion a few blue words were uttered and he admitted that it "****ing hurt."
Perhaps his daughter summed it up best by saying "you were incredibly stupid and also incredibly brave."
Hear hear to that.
Punctured rubber duck DO? Sorry mate, not even close to this one.
Will anyone ever beat this?
Nobody has ever come up with a great idea after a second bottle of water.