Yesterday
I was at my local Countdown store buying a large bag of
Pedigree
dog food for my loyal pet and was in the checkout queue
when a
woman behind me asked if I had a dog.
What
did she think I had, an elephant?
So,
since I'm retired and have little to do, on impulse, I told her that
no, I
didn't have a dog, that I was starting the Pedigree Diet again.
I added
that I probably shouldn't, because I ended up in hospital
last
time …… but that I'd lost 2 stone before I woke up in intensive care
with
tubes coming out of most of my orifices and IVs in both arms.
I told
her that it was however a perfect diet and that the way
that it
works is to load your pockets with Pedigree biscuits and simply
eat one
or two every time you feel hungry. The food is nutritionally
complete
so it works well and I was going to try it again. (I have to
mention
here that practically everyone in queue was now enthralled
with my
story.)
Horrified,
she asked me if I ended up in intensive care because the
dog
food poisoned me.
I told
her no, I stepped off the kerb to sniff an Irish Setter's arse
and a
car hit me.
I
thought the guy behind her was going to have a heart attack he
was
laughing so hard.
I'm now
banned from Countdown.
Don't
like shopping there anyway.
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