Fishing Humour

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Post Options Post Options   Likes (1) Likes(1)   Quote krow Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 25 Jan 2021 at 9:01pm
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Titanium
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Well I LOL
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Post Options Post Options   Likes (0) Likes(0)   Quote Fraser Hocks Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 26 Jan 2021 at 11:16am
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Yea I think you would have to be pretty hard line national supporter (or one of those lunatic fringe parties Ermm) verging on cult like, to start throwing rocks at the way the current government has handled the whole covid situation.  

Onwards and upwards! Any new jokes?

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Post Options Post Options   Likes (1) Likes(1)   Quote pjc Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 26 Jan 2021 at 4:55pm
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Post Options Post Options   Likes (3) Likes(3)   Quote Catchelot Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 26 Jan 2021 at 6:00pm
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Two priests decided to go to Hawaii on their holidays. They were determined to make this a real vacation by not wearing anything that would identify them as clergymen. As soon as the plane landed they headed for a store and bought some really outrageous shorts, shirts, sandals, and sunglasses.
The next morning they went to the beach dressed in their 'tourist' gear. They were sitting on deck chairs, enjoying a drink, the sunshine and the scenery when a 'drop dead gorgeous' topless blonde came walking straight towards them .............They couldn't help but stare. As the blonde passed them she smiled and said 'Good Morning, Father ~ Good Morning, Father,' Nodding and addressing each of them individually, Then she passed on by. They were both stunned. How in the world did she know they were priests? So the next day, they went back to the store and Bought even more outrageous outfits..
Once again, in their new attire, they settled down in their chairs to enjoy the sunshine. After a little while, the same gorgeous topless blonde came walking toward them. Again she nodded at each of them and said 'Good morning, Father ~ Good morning, Father,' and started to walk away. One of the priests couldn't stand it any longer and said, 'Just a minute, young lady.' 'Yes Father?' Said the blonde 'We are priests and proud of it, but I have to know, how in the world did you know we are priests, dressed as we are?'
She replied, 'Father, it's me, Sister Kathleen.'
"The sea, once it casts its spell, holds one in its net of wonder forever." - Jacques Cousteau
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Post Options Post Options   Likes (0) Likes(0)   Quote smudge Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 26 Jan 2021 at 6:10pm
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Moderator - Ninja
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Haha, finally a joke I haven't heard before Big smile
Best gurnard fisherman in my street
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Post Options Post Options   Likes (0) Likes(0)   Quote Catchelot Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 26 Jan 2021 at 7:12pm
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"The sea, once it casts its spell, holds one in its net of wonder forever." - Jacques Cousteau
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Post Options Post Options   Likes (3) Likes(3)   Quote Catchelot Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 26 Jan 2021 at 7:33pm
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"The sea, once it casts its spell, holds one in its net of wonder forever." - Jacques Cousteau
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Post Options Post Options   Likes (1) Likes(1)   Quote Catchelot Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 27 Jan 2021 at 11:00am
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Once upon a time there lived a king.
The king had a beautiful daughter, the PRINCESS.
But there was a problem. Everything the princess touched would melt.
No matter what; metal, wood, stone, anything she touched would melt.
Because of this, men were afraid of her. Nobody would dare marry her.
The king despaired. What could he do to help his daughter?
He consulted his wizards and magicians. One wizard told the king,
"If your daughter touches one thing that does not melt in her hands, she will be cured."
The king was overjoyed and came up with a plan.
The next day, he held a competition. Any man that could bring his daughter an object that would not melt would marry her and inherit the king's wealth.
THREE YOUNG PRINCES TOOK UP THE CHALLENGE.
The first brought a sword of the finest steel. But alas, when the princess touched it, it melted.
The prince went away sadly.
The second prince brought diamonds.
He thought diamonds are the hardest substance in the world and would not melt. But alas, once the princess touched them, they melted.
He too was sent away disappointed.
The third prince approached. He told the princess, "Put your hand in my pocket and feel what is in there."
The princess did as she was told, though she turned red.
She felt something hard. She held it in her hand and it did not melt!!!
The king was overjoyed. Everybody in the kingdom was overjoyed.
And the third prince married the princess and they both lived happily ever after.
Question: What was in the prince's pants?
(Scroll down for the answer)
M&M's of course.
They melt in your mouth, not in your hand.
What were you thinking?? LOLLOL
"The sea, once it casts its spell, holds one in its net of wonder forever." - Jacques Cousteau
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Post Options Post Options   Likes (0) Likes(0)   Quote Catchelot Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 29 Jan 2021 at 10:31am
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Genuine online council complaints �&pound;
1. It's the dogs mess that I find hard to swallow.
2. I want some repairs done to my cooker as it has backfired and burnt my knob off.
3. I wish to complain that my father twisted his ankle very badly when he put his foot in the hole in his back passage.
4. Their 18 year old son is continually banging his balls against my fence.
5. I wish to report that tiles are missing from the outside toilet roof. I think it was bad wind the other day that blew them off.
6. My lavatory seat is cracked, where do I stand?
7. I am writing on behalf of my sink, which is coming away from the wall.
8. Will you please send someone to mend the garden path. My wife tripped and fell on it yesterday and now she is pregnant.
9. I request permission to remove my drawers in the kitchen.
10. 50% of the walls are damp, 50% have crumbling plaster, and 50% are just plain filthy.
11. The next door neighbour has got this huge tool that vibrates the whole house and I just can't take it anymore.
12. The toilet is blocked and we cannot bath the children until it is cleared.
13. Will you please send a man to look at my water, it is a funny and not fit to drink.
14. Our lavatory seat is broken in half and now is in three pieces.
15. I want to complain about the farmer across the road. Every morning at 6am his cock wakes me up and it's now getting too much for me.
16. The man next door has a large erection in the back garden, which is unsightly and dangerous.
17. Our kitchen floor is damp. We have two children and would like a third, so please send someone round to do something about it.
18. I am a single woman l am
writing in about the noise made by the man on top of me every night.
19. Please send a man with the right tool to finish the job and satisfy my wife.
20. I have had the clerk of works down on the floor six times but I still have no satisfaction.
21. This is to let you know that our lavatory seat is broke and we can't get BBC2.
22. My bush is really overgrown round the front and my back passage has fungus growing in it.
"The sea, once it casts its spell, holds one in its net of wonder forever." - Jacques Cousteau
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Post Options Post Options   Likes (0) Likes(0)   Quote Catchelot Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 07 Feb 2021 at 9:05am
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"The sea, once it casts its spell, holds one in its net of wonder forever." - Jacques Cousteau
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Post Options Post Options   Likes (0) Likes(0)   Quote MATTOO Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 07 Feb 2021 at 3:52pm
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Titanium
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Is that toolmans brother.
Just cruising in my now sweetas pimped out Southern 755 HT0!
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Post Options Post Options   Likes (0) Likes(0)   Quote Catchelot Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 08 Feb 2021 at 12:55pm
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"The sea, once it casts its spell, holds one in its net of wonder forever." - Jacques Cousteau
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Post Options Post Options   Likes (1) Likes(1)   Quote Catchelot Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 13 Feb 2021 at 2:37pm
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"The sea, once it casts its spell, holds one in its net of wonder forever." - Jacques Cousteau
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Post Options Post Options   Likes (0) Likes(0)   Quote Catchelot Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 15 Feb 2021 at 10:49am
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"The sea, once it casts its spell, holds one in its net of wonder forever." - Jacques Cousteau
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Post Options Post Options   Likes (0) Likes(0)   Quote Catchelot Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 15 Feb 2021 at 2:04pm
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"The sea, once it casts its spell, holds one in its net of wonder forever." - Jacques Cousteau
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Post Options Post Options   Likes (0) Likes(0)   Quote corosanta Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 16 Feb 2021 at 3:21pm
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Some guys just tried to sell me a watch that doesn't have a battery... I thought to my self is this some sort of a wind up!!
Sitndrinkntalknbullman
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Post Options Post Options   Likes (0) Likes(0)   Quote corosanta Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 20 Feb 2021 at 8:34am
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Sitndrinkntalknbullman
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Post Options Post Options   Likes (0) Likes(0)   Quote Big -Dave Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 20 Feb 2021 at 1:42pm
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Originally posted by corosanta corosanta wrote:



And I thought it would be a Coca-Cola sign...
you can't fix an idiot with duct tape, but it does muffle them for a while...
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Post Options Post Options   Likes (0) Likes(0)   Quote Catchelot Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 20 Feb 2021 at 6:28pm
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"The sea, once it casts its spell, holds one in its net of wonder forever." - Jacques Cousteau
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Post Options Post Options   Likes (0) Likes(0)   Quote Catchelot Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 24 Feb 2021 at 5:10pm
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"The sea, once it casts its spell, holds one in its net of wonder forever." - Jacques Cousteau
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