Jaapie wrote: A woman was unhappy with the way her laundry was done at the local Chinese Laundry, so she wrote a note and put it in the bag with the next collection of soiled clothes: "USE MORE SOAP ON PANTIES!" She got the clean laundry back, and was still dissatisfied with the results, so the following week she enclosed another note: "USE MORE SOAP ON PANTIES!" The Chinese laundryman became very annoyed, and when her clean laundry was delivered, it contained a note from him: "I USE PLENTY SOAP ON PANTIES! USE MORE PAPER ON ASS!!!" |
Number One Idiot, so far in 2019
I am a medical student currently doing a rotation in
toxicology at the
poison control centre.
Today, this woman called in very upset because she
caught her little
daughter eating ants. I quickly reassured her
that the ants are not
harmful and there would be no need to bring her
daughter into the
hospital. She calmed down and at the end of the
conversation happened to
mention that she gave her daughter some ant poison to
eat in order to
kill the ants. I told her that she better bring
her daughter into the
emergency room right away.
Number Two Idiot so far in 2019
Early this year, some Boeing employees on the airfield
decided to steal
a life raft from one of the 747s. They were
successful in getting it out
of the plane and home.
Shortly after they took it for a float on the river,
they noticed a
Westpac Rescue Helicopter coming towards them.
It turned out that the chopper was homing in on the
emergency locator
beacon that activated when the raft was inflated. They
are no longer
employed at Boeing.
Number Three Idiot so far in 2019
A man, wanting to rob a Bank of Queensland , walked
into the Branch and
wrote 'Put all your muny in this bag.'
While standing in line, waiting to give his note to
the teller, he began
to worry that someone had seen him write the note and
might call the
police before he reached the teller's window. So
he left the Bank and
crossed the street to the NAB Bank. After
waiting a few minutes in
line, he handed his note to the teller. She read
it and, surmising from
his spelling errors that he wasn't the brightest light
in the harbour,
told him that she could not accept his stickup note
because it was
written on a Bank of Queensland deposit slip and that
he would either
have to fill out a NAB deposit slip or go back to Bank
of Queensland ...
Looking somewhat defeated, the man said, 'OK' and
left.
He was arrested a few minutes later, as he was waiting
in line back at
the Bank of Queensland. Happened in Noosa!
Number Four Idiot so far in 2019
A guy walked into a little corner store with a shotgun
and demanded all
of the cash from the cash drawer.
After the cashier put the cash in a bag, the robber
saw a bottle of
Scotch that he wanted behind the counter on the
shelf. He told the
cashier to put it in the bag as well, but the cashier
refused and said,
'Because I don't believe you are over 21.' The
robber said he was, but
the clerk still refused to give it to him because she
didn't believe
him. At this point, the robber took his driver's
licence out of his
wallet and gave it to the clerk.
The clerk looked it over and agreed that the man was
in fact over 21 and
she put the Scotch in the bag. The robber then
ran from the store with
his loot.
The cashier promptly called the police and gave the
name and address of
the robber that she got off the licence. They
arrested the robber two
hours later.
Number Five Idiot so far in 2019
A pair of robbers entered a record shop nervously
waving revolvers. The
first one shouted, 'Nobody move!' When his
partner moved, the startled
first bandit shot him.
Number Six Idiot so far in 2019
Seems this bloke wanted some beer pretty badly.. He
decided that he'd just
throw a brick through a liquor store window, grab some
booze, and run.
So he lifted the brick and heaved it over his head at
the window.
The brick bounced back knocking him unconscious.
It seems the liquor store window was made of
Flexi-Glass...
The whole event was caught on videotape.. Perth WA ...
IDIOT SIGHTING:
I was at the airport, checking in at the gate when an
airport employee asked,
''Has anyone put anything in your baggage without your
knowledge?
To which I replied, 'If it was without my knowledge,
how would I know?'
He smiled knowingly and nodded, 'That's why we ask.'
Happened in Melbourne ...
JUST AN IDIOT:
When my husband and I arrived at a car dealer to pick
up our car, we were told the keys had been locked in it.
We went to the service department and found a mechanic
working feverishly to unlock the driver's side door.
As I watched from the passenger side, I instinctively
tried the door handle and discovered that it was unlocked.
'Hey,' I announced to the technician, 'its open!'
His reply, 'I know - I already done that side.'
This was at the FORD dealership Dubbo.
“Aussies”.............................
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