Fishing Humour

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Post Options Post Options   Likes (2) Likes(2)   Quote Catchelot Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 06 Apr 2020 at 5:02pm
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"The sea, once it casts its spell, holds one in its net of wonder forever." - Jacques Cousteau
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Post Options Post Options   Likes (0) Likes(0)   Quote Coastbusters Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 07 Apr 2020 at 2:25pm
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Originally posted by Jaapie Jaapie wrote:

A woman was unhappy with the way her laundry was done at the local Chinese Laundry, so she wrote a note and put it in the bag with the next collection of soiled clothes:

"USE MORE SOAP ON PANTIES!"

 

She got the clean laundry back, and was still dissatisfied with the results, so the following week she enclosed another note:

 "USE MORE SOAP ON PANTIES!"

The Chinese laundryman became very annoyed, and when her clean laundry was delivered, it contained a note from him:

"I USE PLENTY SOAP ON PANTIES!   USE MORE PAPER ON ASS!!!"


Not sure why this joke was made any funnier by the fact that the laundryman was chinese? Apart from the punchline being written in broken English, wouldn't it have been just as funny if the man's ethnicity or race was not brought into it?
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Post Options Post Options   Likes (1) Likes(1)   Quote Marligator Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 07 Apr 2020 at 5:38pm
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SURROUNDED BY IDIOTS (true stories doing the rounds again)

 Number One Idiot, so far in 2019

I am a medical student currently doing a rotation in toxicology at the

poison control centre.

Today, this woman called in very upset because she caught her little

daughter eating ants.  I quickly reassured her that the ants are not

harmful and there would be no need to bring her daughter into the

hospital. She calmed down and at the end of the conversation happened to

mention that she gave her daughter some ant poison to eat in order to

kill the ants.  I told her that she better bring her daughter into the

emergency room right away.

 

Number Two Idiot so far in 2019

Early this year, some Boeing employees on the airfield decided to steal

a life raft from one of the 747s.  They were successful in getting it out

of the plane and home.

Shortly after they took it for a float on the river, they noticed a

Westpac Rescue Helicopter coming towards them.

It turned out that the chopper was homing in on the emergency locator

beacon that activated when the raft was inflated. They are no longer

employed at Boeing.

 

Number Three Idiot so far in 2019

A man, wanting to rob a Bank of Queensland , walked into the Branch and

wrote 'Put all your muny in this bag.'

While standing in line, waiting to give his note to the teller, he began

to worry that someone had seen him write the note and might call the

police before he reached the teller's window.  So he left the Bank and

crossed the street to the NAB Bank.  After waiting a few minutes in

line, he handed his note to the teller.  She read it and, surmising from

his spelling errors that he wasn't the brightest light in the harbour,

told him that she could not accept his stickup note because it was

written on a Bank of Queensland deposit slip and that he would either

have to fill out a NAB deposit slip or go back to Bank of Queensland ...

Looking somewhat defeated, the man said, 'OK' and left.

He was arrested a few minutes later, as he was waiting in line back at

the Bank of Queensland. Happened in Noosa!

 

Number Four Idiot so far in 2019

A guy walked into a little corner store with a shotgun and demanded all

of the cash from the cash drawer.

After the cashier put the cash in a bag, the robber saw a bottle of

Scotch that he wanted behind the counter on the shelf.  He told the

cashier to put it in the bag as well, but the cashier refused and said,

'Because I don't believe you are over 21.'  The robber said he was, but

the clerk still refused to give it to him because she didn't believe

him.  At this point, the robber took his driver's licence out of his

wallet and gave it to the clerk.

The clerk looked it over and agreed that the man was in fact over 21 and

she put the Scotch in the bag.  The robber then ran from the store with

his loot.

The cashier promptly called the police and gave the name and address of

the robber that she got off the licence.  They arrested the robber two

hours later.

 

Number Five Idiot so far in 2019

A pair of robbers entered a record shop nervously waving revolvers. The

first one shouted, 'Nobody move!'  When his partner moved, the startled

first bandit shot him.

 

Number Six Idiot so far in 2019

Seems this bloke wanted some beer pretty badly.. He decided that he'd just

throw a brick through a liquor store window, grab some booze, and run.

So he lifted the brick and heaved it over his head at the window.

The brick bounced back knocking him unconscious.

It seems the liquor store window was made of Flexi-Glass...

The whole event was caught on videotape.. Perth WA ...

 

 

 

IDIOT SIGHTING:

I was at the airport, checking in at the gate when an airport employee asked,

''Has anyone put anything in your baggage without your knowledge?

To which I replied, 'If it was without my knowledge, how would I know?'

He smiled knowingly and nodded, 'That's why we ask.'

Happened in Melbourne ...

 

JUST AN IDIOT:

When my husband and I arrived at a car dealer to pick up our car, we were told the keys had been locked in it.

We went to the service department and found a mechanic working feverishly to unlock the driver's side door.

As I watched from the passenger side, I instinctively tried the door handle and discovered that it was unlocked.

'Hey,' I announced to the technician, 'its open!'

His reply, 'I know - I already done that side.'

This was at the FORD dealership Dubbo.

 

“Aussies”.............................

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Post Options Post Options   Likes (1) Likes(1)   Quote pjc Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 07 Apr 2020 at 7:10pm
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Post Options Post Options   Likes (0) Likes(0)   Quote pjc Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 07 Apr 2020 at 7:11pm
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Post Options Post Options   Likes (1) Likes(1)   Quote Coastbusters Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 08 Apr 2020 at 7:06pm
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I think I've found a loophole!!


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Post Options Post Options   Likes (2) Likes(2)   Quote Coastbusters Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 08 Apr 2020 at 7:29pm
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for more lockdown funnies, visit my website
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Post Options Post Options   Likes (0) Likes(0)   Quote Coastbusters Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 11 Apr 2020 at 11:24am
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Post Options Post Options   Likes (0) Likes(0)   Quote Coastbusters Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 13 Apr 2020 at 10:08am
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Post Options Post Options   Likes (0) Likes(0)   Quote Kevin.S Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 13 Apr 2020 at 11:54am
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I think it's OK to laugh at this as he wasn't badly hurt, you really couldn't make this sort of stuff up



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Post Options Post Options   Likes (0) Likes(0)   Quote Coastbusters Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 15 Apr 2020 at 9:55am
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Post Options Post Options   Likes (0) Likes(0)   Quote Catchelot Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 15 Apr 2020 at 3:18pm
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Post Options Post Options   Likes (0) Likes(0)   Quote Catchelot Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 15 Apr 2020 at 3:22pm
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Post Options Post Options   Likes (0) Likes(0)   Quote Motorhead Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 16 Apr 2020 at 10:38am
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Originally posted by Catchelot Catchelot wrote:




🤮😷😆
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Post Options Post Options   Likes (0) Likes(0)   Quote Catchelot Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 16 Apr 2020 at 11:19am
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Post Options Post Options   Likes (1) Likes(1)   Quote Catchelot Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 16 Apr 2020 at 11:20am
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Post Options Post Options   Likes (0) Likes(0)   Quote Catchelot Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 16 Apr 2020 at 11:21am
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Post Options Post Options   Likes (0) Likes(0)   Quote lingee Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 17 Apr 2020 at 4:26am
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thats dead write
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Post Options Post Options   Likes (1) Likes(1)   Quote BananaBoat Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 17 Apr 2020 at 2:27pm
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George Carlin - Germs, Immune System

especially true with the shutdown

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=X29lF43mUlo
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