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Post Options Post Options   Likes (0) Likes(0)   Quote bazza Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 29 Mar 2016 at 8:36am
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Doesn't it seem more and more that physicians are running their practices like an assembly line?

Here's what happened to Kevin:
Kevin walked into a doctor's office and the receptionist asked him what he had. Kevin said: 'Shingles.' So she wrote down his name, address, medical insurance number and told him to have a seat.
Fifteen minutes later a nurse's aide came out and asked Kevin what he had....
Kevin said, 'Shingles.' So she wrote down his height, weight, a complete medical history and told Kevin to wait in the examining room.
A half hour later a nurse came in and asked Kevin what he had. Kevin said, 'Shingles..' So the nurse gave Kevin a blood test, a blood pressure test, an electrocardiogram, and told Kevin to take off all his
clothes and wait for the doctor.
An hour later the doctor came in and found Kevin sitting patiently in the nude and asked Kevin what he had.
Kevin said, 'Shingles.' The doctor asked, 'Where?'
Kevin said, 'Outside on the truck, where do you want me to unload 'em??'
When you cry, feel pain or sadness, no one notices your sorrow .... BUT
fart just ONE time !!!!!!!!!!!
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Post Options Post Options   Likes (0) Likes(0)   Quote Norseman Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 09 Apr 2016 at 11:36am
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"Nothing is so strong as gentleness, nothing so gentle as real strength." St. Francis de Sales
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Post Options Post Options   Likes (0) Likes(0)   Quote Norseman Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 09 Apr 2016 at 11:47am
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"Nothing is so strong as gentleness, nothing so gentle as real strength." St. Francis de Sales
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Post Options Post Options   Likes (0) Likes(0)   Quote smudge Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 09 Apr 2016 at 1:44pm
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One of the funnier jokes here Norseman Big smile
Best gurnard fisherman in my street
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Post Options Post Options   Likes (0) Likes(0)   Quote dalgo Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 10 Apr 2016 at 10:34pm
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YOU CAN ALWAYS COUNT ON BIKERS TO HELP....

 
On January 9th, a group of Pekin, Illinois bikers were riding west on I-74 when they saw a girl about to jump off the Murray Baker Bridge. So they stopped.

 

George, their leader, a big burly man of 53, gets off his Harley, walks through a group of gawkers, past the State Trooper, and says, "What are you doing?"
She says, "I'm going to commit suicide."

While he didn't want to appear "sensitive," he didn't want to miss a be-a-legend opportunity either so he asked ... "Well, before you jump, why don't you give me a kiss?"

With no hesitation at all, she leaned back over the railing and did just that ... and it was a long, deep, lingering kiss followed immediately by another one.

After the kissing was done, George gets approval from his biker-buddies, the onlookers, and even the State Trooper, and says, "Wow! That was the best kiss I have ever had Honey! That's a real talent you're wasting, Sugar Shorts. You could be famous if you rode with me. Why are you committing suicide?"

"My parents don't like me dressing up like a girl."

It's still unclear whether she jumped or was pushed.

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Post Options Post Options   Likes (0) Likes(0)   Quote Catchelot Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 11 Apr 2016 at 7:13pm
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A horse and a chicken are playing in a meadow. The horse falls into a mud hole and is sinking. He calls to the chicken to go and get the farmer to help pull him out to safety. The chicken runs to the farm but the farmer can't be found. So he drives the farmer's Mercedes back to the mud hole and ties some rope around the bumper. He then throws the other end of the rope to his friend, the horse, and drives the car forward saving him from sinking!
A few days later, the chicken and horse were playing in the meadow again and the chicken fell into the mud hole. The chicken yelled to the horse to go and get some help from the farmer. The horse said, "I think I can stand over the hole!" So he stretched over the width of the hole and said, "Grab for my 'thingy' and pull yourself up." And the chicken did and pulled himself to safety.
The moral of the story is:
If you are hung like a horse, you don't need a Mercedes to pick up chicks
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Post Options Post Options   Likes (2) Likes(2)   Quote pjc Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 14 Apr 2016 at 1:34pm
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Post Options Post Options   Likes (0) Likes(0)   Quote kingfishers Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 25 Apr 2016 at 8:01am
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"My mind has gone fishing, ask all questions tomorrow"
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Post Options Post Options   Likes (0) Likes(0)   Quote kingfishers Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 25 Apr 2016 at 8:02am
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"My mind has gone fishing, ask all questions tomorrow"
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Post Options Post Options   Likes (0) Likes(0)   Quote kingfishers Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 25 Apr 2016 at 8:02am
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"My mind has gone fishing, ask all questions tomorrow"
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Post Options Post Options   Likes (0) Likes(0)   Quote kingfishers Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 25 Apr 2016 at 8:03am
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"My mind has gone fishing, ask all questions tomorrow"
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Post Options Post Options   Likes (0) Likes(0)   Quote kingfishers Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 25 Apr 2016 at 8:03am
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"My mind has gone fishing, ask all questions tomorrow"
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Post Options Post Options   Likes (0) Likes(0)   Quote Catchelot Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 07 May 2016 at 1:13pm
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Post Options Post Options   Likes (0) Likes(0)   Quote Catchelot Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 12 May 2016 at 5:10pm
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Post Options Post Options   Likes (0) Likes(0)   Quote Catchelot Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 13 May 2016 at 8:46pm
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What beach I cant see one LOL

 

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Post Options Post Options   Likes (1) Likes(1)   Quote Catchelot Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 13 May 2016 at 8:55pm
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Post Options Post Options   Likes (0) Likes(0)   Quote pjc Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 14 May 2016 at 6:34pm
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True story
Number one son has gone to town tonight,rang up and asked can he stay the night onboard,yep go for it.Little does he know i have all the blankets and squabs at home.hope enjoys sleeping on ply bunks,better still if he gets lucky hope she lives handy.LOL
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Post Options Post Options   Likes (1) Likes(1)   Quote Catchelot Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 14 May 2016 at 6:40pm
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Originally posted by pjc pjc wrote:

True story
Number one son has gone to town tonight,rang up and asked can he stay the night onboard,yep go for it.Little does he know i have all the blankets and squabs at home.hope enjoys sleeping on ply bunks,better still if he gets lucky hope she lives handy.LOL

and you have changed hiding places for the hatch key alsoLOL
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Post Options Post Options   Likes (0) Likes(0)   Quote pjc Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 15 May 2016 at 6:22pm
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Originally posted by Catchelot Catchelot wrote:

Originally posted by pjc pjc wrote:

True story
Number one son has gone to town tonight,rang up and asked can he stay the night onboard,yep go for it.Little does he know i have all the blankets and squabs at home.hope enjoys sleeping on ply bunks,better still if he gets lucky hope she lives handy.LOL

and you have changed hiding places for the hatch key alsoLOL
received a drunken call so thought better go fetch him and his mate,asked about how the girl chasing bit went and received 2 school boy type sniggers,not in good nic when awoken at 8.30 for boat show.
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Post Options Post Options   Likes (0) Likes(0)   Quote Olfart Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 16 May 2016 at 7:20am
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A husband and wife are shopping in their local supermarket. The husband picks up a case of Lion Brown and puts it in their cart.

'What do you think you're doing?' asks the wife.

'They're on sale, only $10 for 24 cans', he replies.

'Put them back, it's a waste of money', demands the wife, and so he does and they carry on shopping.

A few aisles further on along, the woman picks up a $20 jar of face cream and puts it in the basket.

‘What do you think you're doing?' asks the husband... ‘It's my face cream. It makes me look beautiful,' replies the wife.

Her husband retorts: 'So does 24 cans of Lion Brown and that's half the price.'

And that's how the fight started......

Semper in excreta sumus, solum profundum variat....



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