bazza wrote: whoops .... missed out the punch line but has now been edited to be included however coastal Stan picked it. |
taihoa wrote:
The problem is that he lost 35 of your passengers. |
Suicide bomber gets his 72 virgins
At a conference held in Russia for diplomats from around the world the Russian representative sat next to his African equivalent & they "hit it off" so well that the Russian decided to entertain his new found friend that evening.
They ended up partying at all sorts of places but finally ended up well under the influence yet continuing to skol down vodka at a great rate.
When they were both almost legless the Russian declared that " In Russia we have a tradition of playing a game of chance considered to be the measure of a man & the respect he carries if willing to play !"
He then lays a revolver on the table whilst explaining the basic rules of playing Russian Roulette & the African suitably fired up with "Dutch courage" agrees to take part nevertheless is greatly relieved to hear a loud click when he pulls the trigger with the barrel of the revolver held to his head.
Six months later the diplomats conference is being held in Africa & the friendship is renewed with the African returning the hospitality extended by his host whilst in Russia.
After a long night of eating up large & imbibing in the local hooch to excess the African declares " Here in Africa we have a game of chance that bestows respect on anyone brave enough to play"
The Russian tentatively asks what is involved but quickly agrees to take part once his host clicks his fingers then six nubile gorgeous looking young ladies parade in front of him & the African explains he has to choose which one he would like to give him oral sex.
The Russian eagerly commits to taking part in the game but out of curiosity asks " But where is the risk factor ?"
The African replies "One of them is a cannibal !!
Two drovers standing in a
bar. One asked, "What are you up to?"
"Ahh. I'm takin' a mob
of 6000 from Goondiwindi to Gympie."
"Oh yeah . . and what
route are you takin'?"
"Ah, prob'ly the
Missus; after all, she stuck by me durin' the drought."
bazza wrote: A couple were in a busy shopping center....." |
÷ Do you have feelings of inadequacy?÷ Do you suffer from shyness?÷ Do you sometimes wish you were more assertive?
If you answered yes to any of these questions, ask your doctor or pharmacist about Cabernet Sauvignon.
Cabernet Sauvignon is the safe, natural way to feel better and more confident about yourself and your actions. It can help ease you out of your shyness and let you tell the world that you're ready and willing to do just about anything.You will notice the benefits of Cabernet Sauvignon almost immediately and, with a regimen of regular doses, you can overcome any obstacles that prevent you from living the life you want to live.Shyness and awkwardness will be a thing of the past and you will discover many talents you never knew you had. Stop hiding and start living.Cabernet Sauvignon may not be right for everyone. Women who are pregnant or nursing should not use it. However, women who wouldn't mind nursing or becoming pregnant are encouraged to try it.Side effects may include:Dizziness, nausea, vomiting, incarceration, loss of motor control, loss of clothing, loss of money, loss of virginity, delusions of grandeur, table dancing, headache, dehydration, dry mouth, and a desire to sing Karaoke and play all-night rounds of Strip Poker, Truth Or Dare, and Naked Twister.Warnings:÷ The consumption of Cabernet Sauvignon may make you think you are whispering when you are not.÷ The consumption of Cabernet Sauvignon may cause you to tell your friends over and over again that you love them.÷ The consumption of Cabernet Sauvignon may cause you to think you can sing.÷ The consumption of Cabernet Sauvignon may create the illusion that you are tougher, smarter, faster and better looking than most people.Please feel free to share this important information with as many people as you feel it may benefit!
Now, just imagine what you could achieve with a good Shiraz or Merlot...
Kevin.S wrote: Hey Bazza, isn't that you in the photo that catchelot posted? |
George, their leader, a big burly man of 53, gets off his Harley, walks through a group of gawkers, past the State Trooper who was trying to talk her down off the railing, and says,
"Hey Baby . . . whatcha doin' up there on that railin'?"
She says tearfully, "I'm going to commit suicide!!"
While he didn't want to appear "sensitive," George also didn't want to miss this "be-a-legend" opportunity either so he asked . . . "Well, before you jump, Honey-Babe . . .
why don't you give ol' George here your best last kiss?"
So, with no hesitation at all, she leaned back over the railing and did just that . . .
and it was a long, deep, lingering kiss followed immediately by another even better one.
After they breathlessly finished, George gets a big thumbs-up approval from his biker-buddies, the onlookers, and even the State Trooper, and then says, "Wow! That was the best kiss I have ever had! That's a real talent you're wasting there, Sugar Shorts. You could be famous if you rode with me. Why are you committing suicide?"
"My parents don't like me dressing up like a girl."
It's still unclear whether she jumped or was pushed.
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