Fishing Humour

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Post Options Post Options   Likes (1) Likes(1)   Quote smudge Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 04 Nov 2022 at 7:46pm
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Originally posted by Fish 4T Fish 4T wrote:


Hey! Did I give you permission to post pics of my ute?? Big smile
Best gurnard fisherman in my street
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Post Options Post Options   Likes (0) Likes(0)   Quote Pcj Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 05 Nov 2022 at 2:12pm
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Amateur's built the ark. Professional built the Titanic
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Post Options Post Options   Likes (0) Likes(0)   Quote Pcj Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 05 Nov 2022 at 2:13pm
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Post Options Post Options   Likes (0) Likes(0)   Quote Pcj Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 09 Nov 2022 at 11:38am
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Mary and Ted got married and had 13 children. Then Ted died of heart disease.
She married again and she & Bob had 7 more children. Bob was killed in a car accident, 12 years later.
Again Mary remarried and this time she & John had 5 more children.
Mary finally died, after having 25 children.
Standing before her coffin, the preacher prayed for her. He thanked the Lord for this very loving woman and said, "Lord, they are finally together."
Ethel leaned over and quietly asked her best friend, "Margaret, do you think he means her 1st, 2nd, or 3rd husband?"
Margaret replied, "I think he means her legs, Ethel."
Amateur's built the ark. Professional built the Titanic
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Post Options Post Options   Likes (1) Likes(1)   Quote Pcj Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 10 Nov 2022 at 4:53pm
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Amateur's built the ark. Professional built the Titanic
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Post Options Post Options   Likes (0) Likes(0)   Quote Pcj Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 27 Nov 2022 at 5:38am
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Post Options Post Options   Likes (1) Likes(1)   Quote Pcj Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 02 Dec 2022 at 1:12am
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Post Options Post Options   Likes (0) Likes(0)   Quote Pcj Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 07 Dec 2022 at 7:36pm
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Post Options Post Options   Likes (0) Likes(0)   Quote Pcj Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 09 Dec 2022 at 6:15pm
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Post Options Post Options   Likes (1) Likes(1)   Quote Pcj Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 25 Dec 2022 at 10:56am
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Post Options Post Options   Likes (0) Likes(0)   Quote Pcj Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 01 Jan 2023 at 5:20am
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A man who just died is delivered to a local mortuary wearing an expensive, expertly tailored black suit.
The female blonde mortician asks the deceased's wife how she would like the body dressed.
She points out that the man does look good in the black suit he is already wearing.
The widow, however, says that she always thought her husband looked his best in blue, and that she wants him in a blue suit.
She gives the Blonde mortician a blank check and says, 'I don't care what it costs, but please have my husband in a blue suit for the viewing.'
The woman returns the next day for the wake.
To her delight, she finds her husband dressed in a gorgeous blue suit with a subtle chalk stripe; the suit fits him perfectly.
She says to the mortician, 'Whatever this cost, I'm very satisfied.
You did an excellent job and I'm very grateful. How much did you spend?'
To her astonishment, the blonde mortician presents her with the blank check.
'There's no charge,' she says.
'No, really, I must compensate you for the cost of that exquisite blue suit!' she says.
'Honestly, ma'am,' the blonde says, 'it cost nothing.
You see, a deceased gentleman of about your husband's size was brought in shortly after you left yesterday, and he was wearing an attractive blue suit.
I asked his wife if she minded him going to his grave wearing a black suit instead, and she said it made no difference as long as he looked nice.'
'So I just switched the heads.'
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Post Options Post Options   Likes (1) Likes(1)   Quote Pcj Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 07 Jan 2023 at 10:23pm
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Johnny O’Reilly hoisted his beer and said, "Here’s to spending the rest of my life, between the legs of me wife!" That won him the top prize at the pub for the best toast of the night! He went home and told his wife, "Mary, I won the prize for the Best toast of the night." She said, "Aye, did ye now. And what was your toast?" Johnny said, "Here’s to spending the rest of my life, sitting in church beside me wife." "Oh, that is very nice indeed, Johnny!" Mary said. The next day Mary ran into one of Johnny's drinking buddies on the street corner. The man chuckled leeringly and said, "Johnny won the prize the other night at the pub with a toast about you, Mary." She said, "Aye, he told me, and I was a bit surprised myself. You know, he’s only been there twice in the last four years. Once he fell asleep, and the other time I had to pull him by the ears to make him come."
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Post Options Post Options   Likes (3) Likes(3)   Quote dmck Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 09 Jan 2023 at 10:20pm
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Xmas is a time for reflection when we think about those in the community not as fortunate as others.

2022 was no exception.

I came across this plea from the heart to Santa clearly demonstrating the need for compassion and understanding in these troubled times.


DEAR SANTA,

WHEN I WAS A CHILD, MY FATHER CHEATED ON MY MOTHER AND DIDN"T LOVE OUR FAMILY.

LATER, MY MUM AND DAD DIVORCED AND DAD WENT HOME TO LIVE WITH GRANDMA.

SOON AFTER, MY MOTHER DIED IN A CAR ACCIDENT.

MY BROTHER AND I HAD TO LIVE IN GRANDMA'S OLD HOUSE WITH DAD.

GRANDMA'S SISTER WAS AN ALCOHOLIC.

MY UNCLE ANDY IS BARELY KEEPING HIMSELF OUT OF JAIL FROM DAY TO DAY.

THE WHOLE FAMILY LIVED ON MY GRANDMA'S SAVINGS.

GRANDMA RECENTLY PASSED AWAY.

MY BROTHER LEFT HOME AND WON"T TALK TO US ANY MORE.

MY DAD, NOW 74, HAD TO GO TO WORK TO SUPPORT US AND HE IS EVENTUALLY GOING TO WANT ME TO DO THE SAME THING.

Yours sincerely,

PRINCE WILLIAM
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Post Options Post Options   Likes (1) Likes(1)   Quote Vundu Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 10 Jan 2023 at 5:51pm
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You can never replace a news paper with a tv. Why? Ever tried to kill a fly with a tv ? LOL
Whenever you do right, nobody remembers. Whenever you do wrong, nobody forgets.
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Post Options Post Options   Likes (0) Likes(0)   Quote Pcj Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 19 Jan 2023 at 5:03am
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Amateur's built the ark. Professional built the Titanic
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Post Options Post Options   Likes (0) Likes(0)   Quote Pcj Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 19 Jan 2023 at 5:32pm
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Post Options Post Options   Likes (2) Likes(2)   Quote brmbrm Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 26 Jan 2023 at 9:55pm
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Post Options Post Options   Likes (1) Likes(1)   Quote Pcj Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 28 Jan 2023 at 1:02pm
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Post Options Post Options   Likes (0) Likes(0)   Quote Pcj Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 28 Jan 2023 at 1:06pm
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Post Options Post Options   Likes (0) Likes(0)   Quote Marligator Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 28 Jan 2023 at 3:21pm
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9:15 is of absolutely no use as they are completely closed off, 3:45 is much better.
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