BananaBoat wrote: The Day the Penis Asked for a Raise I, the Penis, hereby request a raise in salary for the following reasons: I do physical labor. I work in great depths. I plunge head-first into everything I do. I do not get week¬ends or public holidays off. I work in a damp, dark environment, with very high temperatures and poor ventilation. My work often exposes me to contagious diseases. Sincerely, P. Niss Dear P. Niss, After assessing your request, and considering the arguments you nave raised, the administration rejects your request for the following reasons: You do not work 8 hours straight. You fall asleep after brief work periods. You do not always follow the orders of the management team. You do not stay in your designated area and are often seen visiting other locations. You do not take initiative - you need to be pressured and stimulated in order to start working. You leave the workplace rather messy at the end of your shift. You don't always observe necessary safety regulations, such as wearing the correct protective clothing. You will retire before you are 65. You are unable to work double shifts. You sometimes leave your designated work area before you have completed the assigned task. And if that were not enough, you have been seen constantly entering and exiting the workplace carrying two suspicious-looking bags. Sincerely, V. Gina |
The
Committee for Economic Value of Individual Lives (E.V.I.L.)
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