Eve and says, “I hate to ruin your day but I have to tell you that your
mother and I are divorcing; forty-five years of misery is enough.”
"Dad, what are you talking about?" the son screams.
“We can't stand the sight of each other any longer” the father says.
“We're sick of each other and I'm sick of talking about this, so you
call your sister in Leeds and tell her.”
Frantically, the son calls his sister, who explodes on the phone. “Like
hell they're getting divorced!” she shouts, “I'll take care of this!”
She calls Scotland immediately, and screams at her father “You are
NOT getting divorced. Don't do a single thing until I get there. I'm
calling my brother back, and we'll both be there tomorrow.Until then,
don't do a thing, DO YOU HEAR ME?” and hangs up.
The old man hangs up his phone and turns to his wife. "Sorted! They're
coming for Christmas and they're paying their own way."
Jacinda walks into a Bank to cash a cheque. As she approaches the cashier she says, "Good morning, Ms could you please cash this cheque for me?"
Cashier:"It would be my pleasure Sister. Could you please show me your ID?"
Jacinda:"Truthfully, I did not bring my ID with me as I didn't think there was any need to. I am jacinda Adern, leader of the labour Party and prime minister of New Zealand !!!!"
Cashier:"Yes Sister, I know who you are, but with all the regulations and monitoring of the banks because of impostors and forgers and requirements of the legislation, etc., I must insist on seeing ID."
Jacinda : Just ask anyone here at the bank who I am and they will tell you. Everybody knows who I am."
Cashier: "I am sorry, Ms Adern, but these are the bank rules and I must follow them."
Jacinda :"Come on please, I am urging you, please cash this cheque."
Cashier: "Look ms Adern, here is an example of what we can do. One day, Tiger Woods came into the bank without ID. To prove he was Tiger Woods he pulled out his putter and made a beautiful shot across the bank into a cup. With that shot we knew him to be Tiger Woods and cashed his cheque."
"Another time, Andre Agassi came in without ID. He pulled out his tennis racket and made a fabulous shot where the tennis ball landed in my cup. With that shot we cashed his cheque. So, ms Adern, what can you do to prove that it is you and only you?"
Jacinda stands there thinking and thinking and finally says, "Honestly, my mind is a total blank...there is nothing that comes to my mind. I can't think of a single thing. I have absolutely no idea what to do. I don't have a clue."
Cashier: "Will that be large or small notes , Ms Adern?
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Catchelot wrote:
