Fishing Humour

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Post Options Post Options   Likes (1) Likes(1)   Quote spin king Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 22 May 2019 at 7:37pm
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@marligator ....................... Jesus wept
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Post Options Post Options   Likes (0) Likes(0)   Quote mouthu Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 22 May 2019 at 8:26pm
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I was hoping for english subtitles
Yes it was me, I screwed it up for everyone.
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Post Options Post Options   Likes (1) Likes(1)   Quote Catchelot Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 23 May 2019 at 12:09pm
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"The sea, once it casts its spell, holds one in its net of wonder forever." - Jacques Cousteau
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Post Options Post Options   Likes (0) Likes(0)   Quote Catchelot Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 23 May 2019 at 12:09pm
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Post Options Post Options   Likes (1) Likes(1)   Quote Mr Moritz Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 23 May 2019 at 1:03pm
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Originally posted by mouthu mouthu wrote:

I was hoping for english subtitles

She was constipated
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Post Options Post Options   Likes (2) Likes(2)   Quote Marligator Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 23 May 2019 at 1:20pm
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Post Options Post Options   Likes (0) Likes(0)   Quote Catchelot Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 24 May 2019 at 11:31am
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"The sea, once it casts its spell, holds one in its net of wonder forever." - Jacques Cousteau
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Post Options Post Options   Likes (1) Likes(1)   Quote Catchelot Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 24 May 2019 at 11:32am
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"The sea, once it casts its spell, holds one in its net of wonder forever." - Jacques Cousteau
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Post Options Post Options   Likes (0) Likes(0)   Quote Catchelot Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 26 May 2019 at 11:11am
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Post Options Post Options   Likes (0) Likes(0)   Quote Catchelot Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 26 May 2019 at 11:12am
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"The sea, once it casts its spell, holds one in its net of wonder forever." - Jacques Cousteau
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Post Options Post Options   Likes (0) Likes(0)   Quote Catchelot Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 26 May 2019 at 11:13am
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Post Options Post Options   Likes (0) Likes(0)   Quote Catchelot Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 26 May 2019 at 11:14am
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Post Options Post Options   Likes (1) Likes(1)   Quote Catchelot Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 26 May 2019 at 11:15am
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Post Options Post Options   Likes (2) Likes(2)   Quote bazza Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 26 May 2019 at 12:01pm
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A woman from Sydney who was a tree hugging, vegetarian and anti-hunter purchased a piece of native bushland in northern NSW .

There was a large gum  tree on one of the highest points in her property. She wanted a good view of the  natural splendor of her land so she started to climb the big gum.

As she neared the top she encountered a koala that attacked her. In her haste to escape, the woman slid down the tree to the ground and got many splinters in her crotch.

In considerable pain, she hurried to a local ER to see a doctor. She told him she was an environmentalist, vegetarian, and an anti-hunter and how she came to get all the splinters. The doctor  listened to her story with great patience and then told her to go wait in the examining room and he would see if he could help her.

She sat and waited three hours before the doctor re-appeared. The angry woman demanded, "What took you so long?"

He smiled and then told her, "Well, I had to get permits from the Environmental Protection Agency, Native Vegetation, Parks and Wildlife service, and the Bureau of Land Management before  I could remove old-growth timber from a 'recreational area' so close to a Waste Treatment Facility.

And I'm sorry, they turned you down

 

 

When you cry, feel pain or sadness, no one notices your sorrow .... BUT
fart just ONE time !!!!!!!!!!!
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Post Options Post Options   Likes (0) Likes(0)   Quote Catchelot Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 27 May 2019 at 9:18am
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Post Options Post Options   Likes (0) Likes(0)   Quote Catchelot Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 27 May 2019 at 9:19am
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"The sea, once it casts its spell, holds one in its net of wonder forever." - Jacques Cousteau
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Post Options Post Options   Likes (0) Likes(0)   Quote Marligator Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 27 May 2019 at 9:57am
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I love that Bazza
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Post Options Post Options   Likes (1) Likes(1)   Quote bazza Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 27 May 2019 at 1:59pm
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Joined: 12 Dec 2006
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When you cry, feel pain or sadness, no one notices your sorrow .... BUT
fart just ONE time !!!!!!!!!!!
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Post Options Post Options   Likes (0) Likes(0)   Quote Catchelot Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 28 May 2019 at 10:13am
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"The sea, once it casts its spell, holds one in its net of wonder forever." - Jacques Cousteau
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Post Options Post Options   Likes (3) Likes(3)   Quote bazza Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 28 May 2019 at 4:00pm
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OBE - Over Bloody Eighty

Joined: 12 Dec 2006
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A guy is browsing in a pet shop, and sees a parrot sitting on a little perch. 
 

It doesn't have any feet or legs. 

The guy says aloud, 'Jeesh, I wonder what happened to this parrot.?'
The parrot says, 'I was born this way. 
I'm a defective parrot.'

'Holy crap,' the guy replies. 
 

'You actually understood and answered me. !'

'I got every word,' says the parrot.
 
  

'I happen to be a highly intelligent, and a thoroughly educated bird'
 
'Oh yeah?' the guy asks. 


'Then answer this, how do you hang onto your perch, without any feet.?'
 
'Well,' the parrot says, 'this is very embarrassing, but since you asked, I wrap my willie around this wooden bar, like a little hook. 
 

You can't see it, because of my feathers.'
 
'Wow,' says the guy. 


'You really can understand, and can speak English, can't you.?'
 
'Actually, I speak both Spanish and English, and I can converse with reasonable competence on almost any topic, politics, religion, sports, physics, philosophy. 

I'm especially good at ornithology.
 
 

You really ought to buy me, I'd be a great companion.'

The guy looks at the $200.00 price tag. 


'Sorry, but I just can't afford that.'
 
'Pssssssst,' says the parrot, 'I'm defective, so the truth is, nobody wants me, cause I don't have any feet. 


You can probably get me for $20, just make the guy an offer.!'
 
The guy offers $20, and walks out with the parrot.
 
Weeks go by. 
 

The parrot is sensational.
 
He has a great sense of humor, he's interesting, he's a great pal, he understands everything, he sympathizes, and he's insightful. 
 

The guy is delighted.
 
One day the guy comes home from work, and the parrot goes, 'Psssssssssssst,' and motions him over with one wing. 


'I don't know if I should tell you this or not, but it's about your wife, and the DHL man.'

'What are you talking about,?' asks the guy.
 
'When he delivered a package today, your wife greeted him at the door, in a sheer black nightie.'
  
'WHAT???' the guy asks incredulously 


'THEN what happened?'

'Well, he came into the house, and lifted up her nightie, and began petting her all over,' reported the parrot.
 
'NO!' he exclaims, 'and she let him.?'
 
'Yes. 


Then he continued taking off the nightie, got down on his knees, and began to kiss her all over.'

Then the frantic guy demands, 'THEN WHAT HAPPENED.?'
 
DUNNO?!? I got an erection, and fell off my perch.!'
When you cry, feel pain or sadness, no one notices your sorrow .... BUT
fart just ONE time !!!!!!!!!!!
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