Fishing Humour

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Post Options Post Options   Likes (0) Likes(0)   Quote Big Manly Yaka Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 23 May 2016 at 11:51am
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Post Options Post Options   Likes (0) Likes(0)   Quote pjc Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 06 Jun 2016 at 4:53pm
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A young guy from North Dakota moves to Florida and goes to a big "everything under one roof" department store looking for a job.

The Manager says, "Do you have ...any sales experience?" The kid says "Yeah. I was a vacuum salesman back in North Dakota."

Well, the boss was unsure, but he liked the kid and figured he'd give him a shot, so he gave him the job.

"You start tomorrow. I'll come down after we close and see how you did."

His first day on the job was rough, but he got through it. After the store was locked up, the boss came down to the sales floor.

"How many customers bought something from you today?" The kid frowns and looks at the floor and mutters, "One". The boss says "Just one?!!? Our sales people average sales to 20 to 30 customers a day.

That will have to change, and soon, if you'd like to continue your employment here. We have very strict standards for our sales force here in Florida. One sale a day might have been acceptable in North Dakota, but you're not on the farm anymore, son."
The kid took his beating, but continued to look at his shoes, so the boss felt kinda bad for chewing him out on his first day. He asked (semi-sarcastically), "So, how much was your one sale for?"
The kid looks up at his boss and says "$101,237.65".

The boss, astonished, says $101,237.65?!? What the heck did you sell?"

The kid says, "Well, first, I sold him some new fish hooks. Then I sold him a new fishing rod to go with his new hooks. Then I asked him where he was going fishing and he said down the coast, so I told him he was going to need a boat, so we went down to the boat department and I sold him a twin engine Chris Craft. Then he said he didn't think his Honda Civic would pull it, so I took him down to the automotive department and sold him that 4x4 Expedition."

The boss said "A guy came in here to buy a fish hook and you sold him a boat and a TRUCK!?"
The kid said "No, the guy came in here to buy tampons for his wife, and I said, 'Dude, your weekend's shot, you should go fishing......

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Post Options Post Options   Likes (0) Likes(0)   Quote pjc Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 06 Jun 2016 at 4:59pm
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Post Options Post Options   Likes (0) Likes(0)   Quote puff Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 06 Jun 2016 at 6:31pm
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Post Options Post Options   Likes (3) Likes(3)   Quote Catchelot Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 10 Jun 2016 at 3:25pm
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Post Options Post Options   Likes (0) Likes(0)   Quote pjc Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 10 Jun 2016 at 6:56pm
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Post Options Post Options   Likes (0) Likes(0)   Quote claw Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 11 Jun 2016 at 7:46am
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Not sure you can class this as humor.
But worth noting use caution when at the ramp.
Hope the link works, cannot get it to inbed.

http://boatkrazy.com/trailer-fails/


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Post Options Post Options   Likes (0) Likes(0)   Quote pjc Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 11 Jun 2016 at 7:52am
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now we need a video showing how they got in to that situation
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Post Options Post Options   Likes (0) Likes(0)   Quote Marligator Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 11 Jun 2016 at 8:45am
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Post Options Post Options   Likes (0) Likes(0)   Quote krow Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 11 Jun 2016 at 9:13pm
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LOL
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Post Options Post Options   Likes (0) Likes(0)   Quote Catchelot Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 13 Jun 2016 at 6:58pm
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I wonder if they get SKY? LOL


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Post Options Post Options   Likes (1) Likes(1)   Quote kingfishers Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 14 Jun 2016 at 10:12am
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A little old lady walks into the Bank of Canada with a bag of money. She insists that she must speak with the president of the bank.

She tells the bank president that she has accumulated several hundred thousand dollars over the years and would like to open a trust in the bank.

The president is curious, so he asks her, "Where did you get all this money?" The old lady replies, "I make bets."

The president then asks, "Bets? What kind of bets?"

The old woman says, "Well, for example, I'll bet you $25,000 that your balls are square."

"Ha!" laughs the president, "That's ridiculous -- you can never win that kind of bet!"

The old lady challenges, "So, would you like to take my bet?"

"Sure," says the president, "I'll bet $25,000 that my balls are not square!"

The little old lady says, "OK. I'll bring my lawyer with me tomorrow at 10 a.m. as a witness, and we'll see."

The next morning, the little old lady appears with her lawyer at the president's office. "OK," she says, "Time to drop your pants and settle this bet."

The president complies. The little old lady peers closely at his balls and asks if she could feel them. "Well, OK," says the bank president, "since there's so much money on the line."

Just then, the lawyer starts banging his head against the wall. The president asks the old lady, "What the hell's the matter with your lawyer?"

She replies, "I bet him $50,000 that at 10 a.m. today, I'd have the president of the Bank of Canada's balls in my hand."
"My mind has gone fishing, ask all questions tomorrow"
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Post Options Post Options   Likes (0) Likes(0)   Quote puff Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 14 Jun 2016 at 2:54pm
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Post Options Post Options   Likes (2) Likes(2)   Quote Catchelot Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 15 Jun 2016 at 5:10pm
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Post Options Post Options   Likes (1) Likes(1)   Quote Seasider Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 16 Jun 2016 at 4:47pm
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And you think your having a bad day!LOL



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Post Options Post Options   Likes (0) Likes(0)   Quote pjc Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 01 Jul 2016 at 5:46pm
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Post Options Post Options   Likes (0) Likes(0)   Quote pjc Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 13 Jul 2016 at 8:22pm
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Post Options Post Options   Likes (0) Likes(0)   Quote Olfart Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 14 Jul 2016 at 7:58am
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Mrs. Donovan was walking down O'Connell Street in Dublin when She met up with Father Flaherty.  The Father said, 'Good mornin' to ye! Aren't ye Mrs. Donovan and didn't I marry ye and yer husband two years ago?'

She replied, 'Aye, that ye did, Father.'

The Father asked, 'And be there any wee little ones yet?'

She replied, 'No, not yet, Father.'

The Father said, 'Well now, I'm going to Rome next week and I'll light a fertility candle for ye and yer husband..'

She replied, 'Oh, thank ye, Father...'

They then parted ways..  Some years later they met again.
The Father asked, 'Well now, Mrs. Donovan, how are ye these days?'

She replied, 'Oh, very well, Father!'

The Father asked, 'And tell me, have ye any wee ones yet?'

She replied, 'Oh yes, Father!  Two sets of twins and six singles, ten in all!'

The Father said, 'That's wonderful!  And how is yer loving husband doing?'

She replied, 'He's gone to Rome to blow out yer feckin' candle !!!!!!!!'
Semper in excreta sumus, solum profundum variat....



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Post Options Post Options   Likes (0) Likes(0)   Quote pjc Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 14 Jul 2016 at 8:40pm
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Post Options Post Options   Likes (0) Likes(0)   Quote Norseman Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 15 Jul 2016 at 12:25pm
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"Nothing is so strong as gentleness, nothing so gentle as real strength." St. Francis de Sales
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