Introducing Phatso

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    Posted: 20 Apr 2006 at 5:11pm
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Our good friend Phatso has been around for sometime now and I thought it only fair that we asked him a few casual questions so forum members could get an insite into the man/boy/transsexual that is Phatso,


1.     How long have you been interested in fishing and why is it that you have never managed to catch a decent snapper ?

I�ve loved fishing since I was a kid, my passion for it grows every day. It consumes me now. Not just the fishing, the whole kit and caboodle.

2.     Rumour is you like to play basket ball, many people including your wife and family consider you to short and fat to play. Do you consider this a fair comment

Yes. But I was good at it. Did I mention I once scored 38 points in a game ?
I also would have been an All Black if it hadn�t been for Women and Alcohol
It�s a fair call to say I�m good at everything I try really.


3.     Lost any "double figure" snapper to gear failure recently? Talk us thru the scenario and had you been warned about sticky drags in the past from your mentors?

I loose good fish all the time, its my ability to find them consistently that has Bushpig, Bender, Kezza etc lauding me as �Guru�
Its true that the 30pd Snapper which reefed me at Rangi last week tested my gear, but I have no shame in a fish of that size getting the better of me.


4.     Was setting up the "shore boys" get together�s just an excuse to meet other sad and lonely men?

Im glad you asked this as it�s a subject of some contention amongst Bender and I as to just who exactly is �Mr Shoreboys�.   When Bender put the question to Boulder and he confirmed it was indeed myself, Bender refused to believe him. I guess now you�ve stated I indeed was the one who set it up the argument is settled and Bender will be stand in �Mr Shoreboys� if I cant make any meetings.
PS. I tried to get them to move base to Kaiwaka but the one member up there is apparently not sad and lonely with himself
PPS. Theres a lot of us that are sad and lonely eh ? 20 odd members at the last one.


5.     Is Bender really your paternal father?

Yes.

6.     It is widely understood that your little brother is a better fisherman than you and holds the record on your boat for the biggest fish. How do you feel about that

I�m stoked. He usually gives me a couple of fish to take home so I can pretend to my kids that I�m a hunter.
P.S Better research would show the 5.21kg snapper I recently caught nudges out the 10pd one he got out with us Bushman.


7.     It is said that your car is gay, having been rear ended on a number of occasions. Do you think this reflects your personality?

That�s an odd question. Ohsif first floated that train of thought. Have you seen his car ? His Mags look like paddles off a steam boat. Understandable considering the way he dresses.
My personality is one of love, Im a loving sort of a guy


8.     How would you describe Fishing. net�s influence on your daily life?

Huge. The guys I�ve met on here are considered my best friends nowadays.
Its not the Website time. It�s the beers, the trips, the laughs.
Good place. Good times


9.     What web site do you visit the most (fishing net excluded)?

Bouyweather and Metservice to see if I should organize drinking or fishing or both

10.     What do you consider to be your most momentous catch and why?

That�s easy. My wife and kids. My daughters mean a lot to me. I cant wait to share the world on the water with them as they grow up.
Fishing wise ? Ive caught a couple fish over 10pds so far in my own boat. That�s a nice feeling, its one thing to go out with others but to find and do yourself is satisfying.
Always hope to get them bigger tho eh.


11.     What are your fishing goals for the next 12 months?

1 -Fish heaps more with the mates Ive made here and share a lot more good times
2 -Increase PB Snapper of 17pd
3 -Help my 3yr old catch her first legal snapper
4 -Catch another and a bigger Kingie
5 - Be there when Ohsif catches a legal Kingie
6 - Be a good crewmember on �Bender� during next years Game season.
7 - Catch a whole heap of Smoked Marlin Pate


12.     Is it true all your reels are Abu�s and that you are to cheap to buy better ones?

Yes. But only because I cant afford better ones because I fund the drunks at Shoreboys

13.     Your wife recently had a baby. Who do you think the farther is?

New addition to the family Brooke is quiet in nature and does likes to Drink a lot. For that reason I think it might be Squid.
I would rather laugh with the Sinners, than cry with the Saints
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Post Options Post Options   Likes (0) Likes(0)   Quote Lethal Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 20 Apr 2006 at 5:41pm
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im impressed Phats.... your just a normaly run of the mill Fishing net nut..... hell i might even take you out now i know this......

well done guys excellent read LOL......

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Post Options Post Options   Likes (0) Likes(0)   Quote Donald Duck Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 20 Apr 2006 at 5:56pm
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Yes, good read, well done. <i.e. - Wot Leafle sed>
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Post Options Post Options   Likes (0) Likes(0)   Quote Tagit Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 20 Apr 2006 at 5:59pm
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I always have trouble reading these until the translator has worked his magic. Somehow the initial replies are so "PC" compared to the truths uncovered by the translating process.
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Post Options Post Options   Likes (0) Likes(0)   Quote smudge Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 20 Apr 2006 at 7:31pm
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Thanks for filling the gap Bushie. Now it is only fair that I translate:

Quote: Originally posted by Bushpig on 20 April 2006


Our good friend Phatso has been around for sometime now and I thought it only fair that we asked him a few casual questions so forum members could get an insite into the man/boy/transsexual that is Phatso,


1.     How long have you been interested in fishing and why is it that you have never managed to catch a decent snapper ?

I�ve loved fishing since I was a kid, my passion for it grows every day. It consumes me now. Not just the fishing, the whole kit and caboodle.

Translation: I don't know

2.     Rumour is you like to play basket ball, many people including your wife and family consider you to short and fat to play. Do you consider this a fair comment

Yes. But I was good at it. Did I mention I once scored 38 points in a game ?
I also would have been an All Black if it hadn�t been for Women and Alcohol
It�s a fair call to say I�m good at everything I try really. 


Translation: My hero Al Bundy scored the winning touchdown in schoolboy football


3.     Lost any "double figure" snapper to gear failure recently? Talk us thru the scenario and had you been warned about sticky drags in the past from your mentors?

I loose good fish all the time, its my ability to find them consistently that has Bushpig, Bender, Kezza etc lauding me as �Guru�
Its true that the 30pd Snapper which reefed me at Rangi last week tested my gear, but I have no shame in a fish of that size getting the better of me.

Translation: I knew that was coming.


4.     Was setting up the "shore boys" get together�s just an excuse to meet other sad and lonely men?

Im glad you asked this as it�s a subject of some contention amongst Bender and I as to just who exactly is �Mr Shoreboys�.   When Bender put the question to Boulder and he confirmed it was indeed myself, Bender refused to believe him. I guess now you�ve stated I indeed was the one who set it up the argument is settled and Bender will be stand in �Mr Shoreboys� if I cant make any meetings.
PS. I tried to get them to move base to Kaiwaka but the one member up there is apparently not sad and lonely with himself
PPS. Theres a lot of us that are sad and lonely eh ? 20 odd members at the last one.

Translation: Yes

5.     Is Bender really your paternal father?

Yes.

Translation: Bender can father children?

6.     It is widely understood that your little brother is a better fisherman than you and holds the record on your boat for the biggest fish. How do you feel about that

I�m stoked. He usually gives me a couple of fish to take home so I can pretend to my kids that I�m a hunter.
P.S Better research would show the 5.21kg snapper I recently caught nudges out the 10pd one he got out with us Bushman.

Translation: I am a picky b'stard.


7.     It is said that your car is gay, having been rear ended on a number of occasions. Do you think this reflects your personality?

That�s an odd question. Ohsif first floated that train of thought. Have you seen his car ? His Mags look like paddles off a steam boat. Understandable considering the way he dresses.
My personality is one of love, Im a loving sort of a guy

Translation: I am not gay, just 'open minded'

8.     How would you describe Fishing. net�s influence on your daily life?

Huge. The guys I�ve met on here are considered my best friends nowadays.
Its not the Website time. It�s the beers, the trips, the laughs.
Good place. Good times

Translation: Huge. The guys I�ve met on here are considered my best friends nowadays. Especially Smudge - he is a fantastic guy. Its not the Website time. It�s the beers, the trips, the laughs. Good place. Good times

9.     What web site do you visit the most (fishing net excluded)?

Bouyweather and Metservice to see if I should organize drinking or fishing or both

Translation: www.anything.x_rated.com


10.     What do you consider to be your most momentous catch and why?

That�s easy. My wife and kids. My daughters mean a lot to me. I cant wait to share the world on the water with them as they grow up.
Fishing wise ? Ive caught a couple fish over 10pds so far in my own boat. That�s a nice feeling, its one thing to go out with others but to find and do yourself is satisfying.
Always hope to get them bigger tho eh.

Translation: My 17lb snapper

11.     What are your fishing goals for the next 12 months?

1 -Fish heaps more with the mates Ive made here and share a lot more good times
2 -Increase PB Snapper of 17pd
3 -Help my 3yr old catch her first legal snapper
4 -Catch another and a bigger Kingie
5 - Be there when Ohsif catches a legal Kingie
6 - Be a good crewmember on �Bender� during next years Game season.
7 - Catch a whole heap of Smoked Marlin Pate

Translation: 1 - Spend more time at Shoreboys get togethers


12.     Is it true all your reels are Abu�s and that you are to cheap to buy better ones?

Yes. But only because I cant afford better ones because I fund the drunks at Shoreboys

Translation: I only shop at The warehouse


13.     Your wife recently had a baby. Who do you think the farther is?

New addition to the family Brooke is quiet in nature and does likes to Drink a lot. For that reason I think it might be Squid.

Translation: She's a good looking kid, it must have been Smudge


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Post Options Post Options   Likes (0) Likes(0)   Quote CanadianJohn Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 20 Apr 2006 at 7:32pm
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nice one bushy, very entertaining! you're a good sport phats.

.
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Post Options Post Options   Likes (0) Likes(0)   Quote Boulder Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 20 Apr 2006 at 8:03pm
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Excellent work there Pig and Smudge. You Smudge have always impressed me with your ability to discerne the perls among the by-product. Great to have you back on song and in future keep that porcine pirate away from your Topic's
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Post Options Post Options   Likes (0) Likes(0)   Quote Barrie Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 20 Apr 2006 at 8:10pm
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Brilliant work Smudge n Bushie . . .. phats your a true champ, Kats like you make this site a great haven . . . ... good luck with that bigger fish . . .
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Post Options Post Options   Likes (0) Likes(0)   Quote Kezza Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 20 Apr 2006 at 8:34pm
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brilliant stuff fellas!!....
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Post Options Post Options   Likes (0) Likes(0)   Quote smudge Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 20 Apr 2006 at 10:25pm
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Will do my best Boulder

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Post Options Post Options   Likes (0) Likes(0)   Quote Phats Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 20 Apr 2006 at 11:03pm
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Its ok, despite Bushie promising not to change my answers he has, as I suspected

I lied about the whole thing.

Except Bender Being my Daddy, that may have been the truth

A positive attitude may not solve all your problems, but it will annoy enough people to make it worth the effort.
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Smudge, when it came to Translation you did extremely excellent.

Special Mention:

Q8. Except for the translation phrase Especially Smudge - he is a fantastic guy then the rest was exceedingly accurate! Because, Hey, when you say "I can't fish worth a half-a-crap but I can spin bull**** with the best of them", Phats definitely has a gift. That's what he said isn't it? 17lb snapper? Hope you sent that baby back to it's Momma!

Jeez Phats, get out there and get a REAL reputation. Don't make me get you down here to make yo' mark on The Beagle... beyotch!

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Post Options Post Options   Likes (0) Likes(0)   Quote Bender Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 21 Apr 2006 at 6:47am
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For once I'm so speechless I can't post a thing.

Smudge - I am sending my 16 year old and 19 year old sons around to your place to live. Two weeks with the flatmates from hell will sort you out.

Nobody has ever come up with a great idea after a second bottle of water.


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Post Options Post Options   Likes (0) Likes(0)   Quote ohsif Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 21 Apr 2006 at 7:33am
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Smudge, your translations are so uncannily accurate I�m left wondering if you are Phats long lost brother.
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Post Options Post Options   Likes (0) Likes(0)   Quote Bushpig Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 21 Apr 2006 at 8:10am
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Quote: Originally posted by Phats on 20 April 2006

Its ok, despite Bushie promising not to change my answers he has, as I suspected

I lied about the whole thing.

Except Bender Being my Daddy, that may have been the truth





Ok I edited the answer to question 2. What Phatso really wrote was,

Food has replaced sex in my life and now I cant even get into my own pants.


I would rather laugh with the Sinners, than cry with the Saints
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Post Options Post Options   Likes (0) Likes(0)   Quote Tomsta Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 21 Apr 2006 at 8:20am
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Well Done Guy's, Good Humour for a Friday...

Q10:  its one thing to go out with others but to find and do yourself is satisfying.

Are you telling us that you have trouble finding yourself but when you do yourself it is actually more satisfying than going out with others....  ???

That's just too much info bro...

Don't Moan about it, Just Do it!
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Post Options Post Options   Likes (0) Likes(0)   Quote Bushpig Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 21 Apr 2006 at 9:10am
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bump
I would rather laugh with the Sinners, than cry with the Saints
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Post Options Post Options   Likes (0) Likes(0)   Quote LB Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 21 Apr 2006 at 12:31pm
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You've gotta laugh

Nice work swinie

And for the record its true Phats has a different father

BAIT THEM AND THEY WILL COME
SET UP A FEILD AND WATCH AB WORK IT
PS.BA YOU ARE MY FAVOURITE
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Post Options Post Options   Likes (0) Likes(0)   Quote Grounded Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 22 Apr 2006 at 8:32am
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It's been said before, but you guys crack me up.

Actually, I never appreciated how shallow the gene pool actually is around here.

Chris

It's a mystery to me
I was a Jerk On Line
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