Fishing Humour

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Post Options Post Options   Likes (3) Likes(3)   Quote Pcj Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 31 Aug 2021 at 6:05am
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"Bazza" signature inspired me post this this true story from a friend about telemarketers.LOL

Lol !! Just had a certain person from another country where they like curries very much, phone me to tell me my internet is in big trouble. I said oh no. ( all serious like) She said yes and that I needed to go and turn off my modem. I said I can’t cause I was in a wheel chair. Oh she said. And added, have u got cellphone or laptop ? ( not oh I’m sorry to hear that u r in a wheel chair. ) I said no to her question. She then insisted I must have a cell phone and I assured her I didn’t. She then asked me - why u not have cellphone? I said cause I have no arms .
She hung up. Hopefully won’t hear from them again.
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Post Options Post Options   Likes (0) Likes(0)   Quote Pcj Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 05 Sep 2021 at 2:03am
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Too soon??



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Post Options Post Options   Likes (1) Likes(1)   Quote mouthu Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 05 Sep 2021 at 7:04am
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Originally posted by Pcj Pcj wrote:

Too soon??







Never too soon, countdown has removed all knives from the shelves.
Puddlejumper
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Post Options Post Options   Likes (0) Likes(0)   Quote lingee Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 05 Sep 2021 at 7:38am
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no need, its getting over the top in this country,one man who was been watched 24/7 and still does that o i wonder 
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Post Options Post Options   Likes (2) Likes(2)   Quote kitno Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 05 Sep 2021 at 11:55am
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Top 10 finish
2022 Grunter Hunter.
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Post Options Post Options   Likes (0) Likes(0)   Quote smudge Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 05 Sep 2021 at 1:59pm
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Hehe that's pretty good Kitno
Best gurnard fisherman in my street
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Post Options Post Options   Likes (1) Likes(1)   Quote kitno Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 05 Sep 2021 at 9:50pm
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Top 10 finish
2022 Grunter Hunter.
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Post Options Post Options   Likes (2) Likes(2)   Quote Pcj Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 15 Sep 2021 at 4:22pm
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Post Options Post Options   Likes (0) Likes(0)   Quote Pcj Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 07 Oct 2021 at 6:52pm
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Post Options Post Options   Likes (0) Likes(0)   Quote Pcj Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 07 Oct 2021 at 6:55pm
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Post Options Post Options   Likes (0) Likes(0)   Quote bazza Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 07 Oct 2021 at 7:37pm
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This is a test post ... please ignore
Scored a much needed hair cut this morning so now on the way to Mitre 10 to take back the hedge trimmer !!
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Post Options Post Options   Likes (0) Likes(0)   Quote smudge Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 07 Oct 2021 at 8:04pm
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Originally posted by bazza bazza wrote:

This is a test post ... please ignore

OK but there are three funny posts before yours. you should try a funny post sometime Bazza Big smile
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Post Options Post Options   Likes (0) Likes(0)   Quote bazza Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 07 Oct 2021 at 8:56pm
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Originally posted by smudge smudge wrote:

Originally posted by bazza bazza wrote:

This is a test post ... please ignore

OK but there are three funny posts before yours. you should try a funny post sometime Bazza Big smile

No hidden agenda Smudge ... was simply trying to fix a problem at my end, with the settings of posts to this thread & needed a "TEXT" post to use & it so happened it was the first  one that appeared when scrolling back .... anyway positive thing is it worked.

Other than that the chosen post had no significance.
Scored a much needed hair cut this morning so now on the way to Mitre 10 to take back the hedge trimmer !!
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Post Options Post Options   Likes (2) Likes(2)   Quote Mr Moritz Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 08 Oct 2021 at 11:43am
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I have everything that I wanted as a teenager, only 60 years later. I don't have to go to school or work. I get an allowance every month. I have my own pad. I don't have a curfew. I have a driver's license and my own car. The people I hang around with are not scared of getting pregnant and I don't have acne. Life is great. I changed my car horn to gunshot sounds. People get out of the way much faster now.

 Gone are the days when girls used to cook like their mothers. Now they drink like their fathers.

I didn't make it to the gym today. That makes five years in a row. I decided to stop calling the bathroom "John" and renamed it the "Jim". I feel so much better saying I went to the Jim this morning.

Old age is coming at a really bad time.

When I was a child I thought "nap time" was a punishment. Now it feels like a small vacation.

The biggest lie I tell myself is... " I don't have to write that down, I'll remember it".

I don't have gray hair... I have "wisdom highlights"! I'm just very wise.

If God wanted me to touch my toes, He would've put them on my knees.

Last year I joined a support group for procrastinators. We haven't met yet.

Why do I have to press one for English when you're just going to transfer me to someone I can't understand anyway?

Of course, I talk to myself. Sometimes I need expert advice.

At my age "Getting Lucky" means walking into a room and remembering what I came In there for.

I have more friends I should send this to, but right now I can't remember their names.

Now, I'm wondering... did I send this to you, or did you send it to me?

If you always do, what you've always done. You will always get, what you have always got
Henry Ford
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Post Options Post Options   Likes (3) Likes(3)   Quote Pcj Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 10 Oct 2021 at 6:55am
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Post Options Post Options   Likes (0) Likes(0)   Quote Pcj Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 13 Oct 2021 at 2:17pm
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Post Options Post Options   Likes (0) Likes(0)   Quote lingee Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 13 Oct 2021 at 3:40pm
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drag the anchor
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Post Options Post Options   Likes (0) Likes(0)   Quote Pcj Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 20 Oct 2021 at 2:55pm
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Post Options Post Options   Likes (1) Likes(1)   Quote Pcj Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 21 Oct 2021 at 3:50am
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So an older, white haired man walked into a jewellery store one Friday evening with a beautiful young gal at his side. He told the jeweller he was looking for a special ring for his girlfriend .
The jeweller looked through his stock and brought out a £5,000 ring and showed it to him.
The old man said, "I don't think you understand, I want something very special."
At that statement, the jeweller went to his special stock and brought another ring over. "Here's a stunning ring at only ££40,000", the jeweller said.
The young lady's eyes sparkled and her whole body trembled with excitement.
The old man seeing this said, "We'll take it."
The jeweller asked how payment would be made and the old man stated, by check. "I know you need to make sure my cheque is good, so I'll write it now and you can call the bank Monday to verify the funds and I'll pick the ring up Monday afternoon," he said.
Monday morning, a very teed-off jeweller phoned the old man. "There's no money in that account."
"I know", said the old man, "but can you imagine the weekend I had"
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Post Options Post Options   Likes (1) Likes(1)   Quote thunderlight Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 21 Oct 2021 at 5:44am
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Originally posted by Ross Ross wrote:

Hubby wants a new boat so his wife says,"Just leave it to me love".

Next day she goes into the bank and asks to see the manager. When he duly arrives she says she wants to deposit a small bag of money. He takes her through to his office and finds shes got a bag full of $10 notes. Asking her how she got them she reports having a good night at the casino.

He gives her a lecture on the evils of gambling and banks the money. Before she leaves she throws him a challange saying, "I'll bet you $20,000 that your balls are square".

"Madam that is a ridiculous wager, I'd be stealing your money"

"I'll offer it again, I bet you $20,000 your balls are square".

"OK", says the manager.

The wife says she'll be in the next morning with her lawyer and husband for proof and leaves.

That night the lawyer checks his balls and sure enough they're round.

Next day in comes the wife, husband and lawyer, "Ready ?", says the wife.

The manager climbs onto a chair drops his trousers and the wife holds his balls in her hands. Proud manager says, "There you go, I win. But whats the lawyer doing banging his head on my desk?".

"Oh", says wife, "Yesterday I bet him $200,000 that I could have my bank managers balls in my hand by lunchtime tomorrow, Thanks a lot!!

With that she and hubby leave to select their new boat............

Ross

I think his wife might get him a good suggestion
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