Ross wrote: Hubby wants a new boat so his wife says,"Just leave it to me love". Next day she goes into the bank and asks to see the manager. When he duly arrives she says she wants to deposit a small bag of money. He takes her through to his office and finds shes got a bag full of $10 notes. Asking her how she got them she reports having a good night at the casino. He gives her a lecture on the evils of gambling and banks the money. Before she leaves she throws him a challange saying, "I'll bet you $20,000 that your balls are square". "Madam that is a ridiculous wager, I'd be stealing your money" "I'll offer it again, I bet you $20,000 your balls are square". "OK", says the manager. The wife says she'll be in the next morning with her lawyer and husband for proof and leaves. That night the lawyer checks his balls and sure enough they're round. Next day in comes the wife, husband and lawyer, "Ready ?", says the wife. The manager climbs onto a chair drops his trousers and the wife holds his balls in her hands. Proud manager says, "There you go, I win. But whats the lawyer doing banging his head on my desk?". "Oh", says wife, "Yesterday I bet him $200,000 that I could have my bank managers balls in my hand by lunchtime tomorrow, Thanks a lot!! With that she and hubby leave to select their new boat............ Ross |
Unable to swim, the man screamed for help.
A trout fisherman ran up.
The man said, “My wife is drowning and I can’t swim. Please save her. I ll give you a hundred dollars.”
The fisherman dove into the water…
In ten powerful strokes, he reached the woman, put his arm around her, and swam back to shore.
Depositing her at the feet of the man, the fisherman said, “Okay, where’s my hundred dollars?”
The man said, “Look, when I saw her going down for the third time, I thought it was my wife. But this is my mother-in-law.”
The fisherman reached into his pocket and said, “Just my luck. How much do I owe you?”
Mr Moritz wrote: Bob is sitting on the ice all day fishing with no luck, not even a nibble. Cold and tired he is about to leave, when a guy walks up cuts a hole in the ice beside him, and starts pulling out fish as fast a he can drop his hook in the water. Bob can’t believe it, he yells over ” whats your secret?” “woogatkakeptewrwm” he answers back. “what did you say?” replies Bob. The man spits a large ball of worms on the ice and says to Bob, ” you have to keep your worms warm”. |
Kevin.S wrote:
In the UK coarse fishermen used to use maggots as bait, the really keen match fishermen kept them in their mouth in winter as they wriggled more when warm. |
smudge wrote: I was in England in 1993. I was on a work training course. I had nothing to do after work except drink beer and talk to the fishermen fishing public water in Peteborough around the Butterfly Inn. I can tell you that keeping maggots in your mouth to keep them warm is a real thing. They couldn't believe my stories about fishing in NZ. My besat friend over there was the barman who loved carp fishing and was wowed out by the pics I showed him. I learned to drink beer there. I also found the poms such a friendly socialable bunch. The wimmens were nice too. |
Transformations wrote: "The wimmens were nice too. " .....and how did you keep THEM warm smudge |
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