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Fishing Humour

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Post Options Post Options   Likes (0) Likes(0)   Quote Catchelot Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 11 Apr 2016 at 7:13pm
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A horse and a chicken are playing in a meadow. The horse falls into a mud hole and is sinking. He calls to the chicken to go and get the farmer to help pull him out to safety. The chicken runs to the farm but the farmer can't be found. So he drives the farmer's Mercedes back to the mud hole and ties some rope around the bumper. He then throws the other end of the rope to his friend, the horse, and drives the car forward saving him from sinking!
A few days later, the chicken and horse were playing in the meadow again and the chicken fell into the mud hole. The chicken yelled to the horse to go and get some help from the farmer. The horse said, "I think I can stand over the hole!" So he stretched over the width of the hole and said, "Grab for my 'thingy' and pull yourself up." And the chicken did and pulled himself to safety.
The moral of the story is:
If you are hung like a horse, you don't need a Mercedes to pick up chicks
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Post Options Post Options   Likes (2) Likes(2)   Quote pjc Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 14 Apr 2016 at 1:34pm
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What Do mean the fish are biting today asked the Boss
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Post Options Post Options   Likes (0) Likes(0)   Quote kingfishers Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 25 Apr 2016 at 8:01am
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"My mind has gone fishing, ask all questions tomorrow"
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Post Options Post Options   Likes (0) Likes(0)   Quote kingfishers Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 25 Apr 2016 at 8:02am
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"My mind has gone fishing, ask all questions tomorrow"
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Post Options Post Options   Likes (0) Likes(0)   Quote kingfishers Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 25 Apr 2016 at 8:02am
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"My mind has gone fishing, ask all questions tomorrow"
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Post Options Post Options   Likes (0) Likes(0)   Quote kingfishers Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 25 Apr 2016 at 8:03am
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"My mind has gone fishing, ask all questions tomorrow"
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Post Options Post Options   Likes (0) Likes(0)   Quote kingfishers Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 25 Apr 2016 at 8:03am
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"My mind has gone fishing, ask all questions tomorrow"
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Post Options Post Options   Likes (0) Likes(0)   Quote Catchelot Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 07 May 2016 at 1:13pm
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Post Options Post Options   Likes (0) Likes(0)   Quote Catchelot Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 12 May 2016 at 5:10pm
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Post Options Post Options   Likes (0) Likes(0)   Quote Catchelot Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 13 May 2016 at 8:46pm
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What beach I cant see one LOL

 

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Post Options Post Options   Likes (1) Likes(1)   Quote Catchelot Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 13 May 2016 at 8:55pm
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Post Options Post Options   Likes (0) Likes(0)   Quote pjc Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 14 May 2016 at 6:34pm
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True story
Number one son has gone to town tonight,rang up and asked can he stay the night onboard,yep go for it.Little does he know i have all the blankets and squabs at home.hope enjoys sleeping on ply bunks,better still if he gets lucky hope she lives handy.LOL
What Do mean the fish are biting today asked the Boss
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Post Options Post Options   Likes (1) Likes(1)   Quote Catchelot Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 14 May 2016 at 6:40pm
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Originally posted by pjc pjc wrote:

True story
Number one son has gone to town tonight,rang up and asked can he stay the night onboard,yep go for it.Little does he know i have all the blankets and squabs at home.hope enjoys sleeping on ply bunks,better still if he gets lucky hope she lives handy.LOL

and you have changed hiding places for the hatch key alsoLOL
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Post Options Post Options   Likes (0) Likes(0)   Quote pjc Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 15 May 2016 at 6:22pm
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Originally posted by Catchelot Catchelot wrote:

Originally posted by pjc pjc wrote:

True story
Number one son has gone to town tonight,rang up and asked can he stay the night onboard,yep go for it.Little does he know i have all the blankets and squabs at home.hope enjoys sleeping on ply bunks,better still if he gets lucky hope she lives handy.LOL

and you have changed hiding places for the hatch key alsoLOL
received a drunken call so thought better go fetch him and his mate,asked about how the girl chasing bit went and received 2 school boy type sniggers,not in good nic when awoken at 8.30 for boat show.
What Do mean the fish are biting today asked the Boss
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Post Options Post Options   Likes (0) Likes(0)   Quote Olfart Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 16 May 2016 at 7:20am
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A husband and wife are shopping in their local supermarket. The husband picks up a case of Lion Brown and puts it in their cart.

'What do you think you're doing?' asks the wife.

'They're on sale, only $10 for 24 cans', he replies.

'Put them back, it's a waste of money', demands the wife, and so he does and they carry on shopping.

A few aisles further on along, the woman picks up a $20 jar of face cream and puts it in the basket.

‘What do you think you're doing?' asks the husband... ‘It's my face cream. It makes me look beautiful,' replies the wife.

Her husband retorts: 'So does 24 cans of Lion Brown and that's half the price.'

And that's how the fight started......

Semper in excreta sumus, solum profundum variat....



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Post Options Post Options   Likes (0) Likes(0)   Quote Big Manly Yaka Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 23 May 2016 at 11:51am
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Post Options Post Options   Likes (0) Likes(0)   Quote pjc Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 06 Jun 2016 at 4:53pm
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A young guy from North Dakota moves to Florida and goes to a big "everything under one roof" department store looking for a job.

The Manager says, "Do you have ...any sales experience?" The kid says "Yeah. I was a vacuum salesman back in North Dakota."

Well, the boss was unsure, but he liked the kid and figured he'd give him a shot, so he gave him the job.

"You start tomorrow. I'll come down after we close and see how you did."

His first day on the job was rough, but he got through it. After the store was locked up, the boss came down to the sales floor.

"How many customers bought something from you today?" The kid frowns and looks at the floor and mutters, "One". The boss says "Just one?!!? Our sales people average sales to 20 to 30 customers a day.

That will have to change, and soon, if you'd like to continue your employment here. We have very strict standards for our sales force here in Florida. One sale a day might have been acceptable in North Dakota, but you're not on the farm anymore, son."
The kid took his beating, but continued to look at his shoes, so the boss felt kinda bad for chewing him out on his first day. He asked (semi-sarcastically), "So, how much was your one sale for?"
The kid looks up at his boss and says "$101,237.65".

The boss, astonished, says $101,237.65?!? What the heck did you sell?"

The kid says, "Well, first, I sold him some new fish hooks. Then I sold him a new fishing rod to go with his new hooks. Then I asked him where he was going fishing and he said down the coast, so I told him he was going to need a boat, so we went down to the boat department and I sold him a twin engine Chris Craft. Then he said he didn't think his Honda Civic would pull it, so I took him down to the automotive department and sold him that 4x4 Expedition."

The boss said "A guy came in here to buy a fish hook and you sold him a boat and a TRUCK!?"
The kid said "No, the guy came in here to buy tampons for his wife, and I said, 'Dude, your weekend's shot, you should go fishing......

What Do mean the fish are biting today asked the Boss
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Post Options Post Options   Likes (0) Likes(0)   Quote pjc Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 06 Jun 2016 at 4:59pm
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What Do mean the fish are biting today asked the Boss
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Post Options Post Options   Likes (0) Likes(0)   Quote puff Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 06 Jun 2016 at 6:31pm
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Post Options Post Options   Likes (3) Likes(3)   Quote Catchelot Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 10 Jun 2016 at 3:25pm
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