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Post Options Post Options   Likes (0) Likes(0)   Quote Kevin.S Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 11 Mar 2016 at 2:18pm
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Titanium
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Post Options Post Options   Likes (0) Likes(0)   Quote Catchelot Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 11 Mar 2016 at 5:46pm
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Post Options Post Options   Likes (0) Likes(0)   Quote bazza Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 11 Mar 2016 at 11:55pm
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I had always thought that getting old would have taken much longer !
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Post Options Post Options   Likes (0) Likes(0)   Quote pjc Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 12 Mar 2016 at 2:12am
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A girl who knows her place.


What Do mean the fish are biting today asked the Boss
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Post Options Post Options   Likes (0) Likes(0)   Quote bazza Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 12 Mar 2016 at 10:54am
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I had always thought that getting old would have taken much longer !
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Post Options Post Options   Likes (0) Likes(0)   Quote Olfart Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 12 Mar 2016 at 11:28am
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Semper in excreta sumus, solum profundum variat....



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Post Options Post Options   Likes (0) Likes(0)   Quote bazza Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 12 Mar 2016 at 12:28pm
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I had always thought that getting old would have taken much longer !
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Post Options Post Options   Likes (0) Likes(0)   Quote bazza Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 13 Mar 2016 at 10:05pm
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I had always thought that getting old would have taken much longer !
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Post Options Post Options   Likes (0) Likes(0)   Quote bazza Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 14 Mar 2016 at 12:15pm
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Reckon it would be safe bet that the "victim" did not think it was funny !
I had always thought that getting old would have taken much longer !
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Post Options Post Options   Likes (0) Likes(0)   Quote bazza Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 14 Mar 2016 at 1:02pm
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OBE - Over Bloody Eighty

Joined: 12 Dec 2006
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         The FBI had an opening for an assassin
 .

After all the background checks, interviews and testing were done, there were 3 finalists;

 
two men and a woman.



For the final test, the FBI agents took one of

 
the men to a large metal door and handed

 
him a gun.



'We must know that you will follow your

 
Instructions no matter what the circumstances.



Inside the room you will find your wife sitting

 
in a chair . . . kill her!!'



The man said, 'You can't be serious. I could

 
never shoot my wife.'



The agent said, 'Then you're not the right man

 
for this job. Take your wife and go home.'



The second man was given the same instructions.

 
He took the gun and went into the room. All was

 
quiet for about 5 minutes.



The man came out with tears in his eyes, 'I tried,

 
but I can't kill my wife..' The agent said, 'You don't

 
have what it takes. Take your wife and go home.'



Finally, it was the woman's turn. She was given the

 
same instructions, to kill her husband. She took the

 
gun and went into the room. Shots were heard, one

 
after another.  They heard screaming, crashing,

 
banging on the walls. After a few minutes, all was

 
quiet. The door opened slowly and there stood the

 
woman, wiping the sweat from her brow. 


'This gun is loaded with blanks' she said.  'I had to

 
beat him to death with the fg chair.'



MORAL:



Women are crazy. Don't mess with them
I had always thought that getting old would have taken much longer !
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Post Options Post Options   Likes (0) Likes(0)   Quote dalgo Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 14 Mar 2016 at 6:37pm
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The European Union Standards Commission is charged with producing Harmonised Standards for a wide variety of products.
 
A major problem arose regarding the number of condoms in a packet.
 
The Greeks said there should be 5 condoms per packet (Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday).
 
The Italians preferred 7 (Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday).
 
The French insisted on 9 (Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Saturday, Sunday, Sunday).
 
However the British wanted 12 (January, February, March ...)
 
 
 
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Post Options Post Options   Likes (0) Likes(0)   Quote pjc Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 18 Mar 2016 at 3:02am
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What Do mean the fish are biting today asked the Boss
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Post Options Post Options   Likes (0) Likes(0)   Quote bazza Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 19 Mar 2016 at 4:49pm
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People that consider Prince Charles to be the highest peer in the world might have to think again !
I had always thought that getting old would have taken much longer !
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Post Options Post Options   Likes (0) Likes(0)   Quote smudge Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 19 Mar 2016 at 4:59pm
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Moderator - Ninja
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So you're the guy that got thrown out of the Henderson swimming pool for peeing in it!


Best gurnard fisherman in my street
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Post Options Post Options   Likes (0) Likes(0)   Quote Catchelot Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 27 Mar 2016 at 9:59am
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Towball needs a bit or work, should buff up fine though


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Post Options Post Options   Likes (0) Likes(0)   Quote bazza Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 29 Mar 2016 at 8:36am
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Doesn't it seem more and more that physicians are running their practices like an assembly line?

Here's what happened to Kevin:
Kevin walked into a doctor's office and the receptionist asked him what he had. Kevin said: 'Shingles.' So she wrote down his name, address, medical insurance number and told him to have a seat.
Fifteen minutes later a nurse's aide came out and asked Kevin what he had....
Kevin said, 'Shingles.' So she wrote down his height, weight, a complete medical history and told Kevin to wait in the examining room.
A half hour later a nurse came in and asked Kevin what he had. Kevin said, 'Shingles..' So the nurse gave Kevin a blood test, a blood pressure test, an electrocardiogram, and told Kevin to take off all his
clothes and wait for the doctor.
An hour later the doctor came in and found Kevin sitting patiently in the nude and asked Kevin what he had.
Kevin said, 'Shingles.' The doctor asked, 'Where?'
Kevin said, 'Outside on the truck, where do you want me to unload 'em??'
I had always thought that getting old would have taken much longer !
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Post Options Post Options   Likes (0) Likes(0)   Quote Norseman Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 09 Apr 2016 at 11:36am
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"Nothing is so strong as gentleness, nothing so gentle as real strength." St. Francis de Sales
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Post Options Post Options   Likes (0) Likes(0)   Quote Norseman Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 09 Apr 2016 at 11:47am
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"Nothing is so strong as gentleness, nothing so gentle as real strength." St. Francis de Sales
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Post Options Post Options   Likes (0) Likes(0)   Quote smudge Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 09 Apr 2016 at 1:44pm
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One of the funnier jokes here Norseman Big smile


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Post Options Post Options   Likes (0) Likes(0)   Quote dalgo Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 10 Apr 2016 at 10:34pm
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YOU CAN ALWAYS COUNT ON BIKERS TO HELP....

 
On January 9th, a group of Pekin, Illinois bikers were riding west on I-74 when they saw a girl about to jump off the Murray Baker Bridge. So they stopped.

 

George, their leader, a big burly man of 53, gets off his Harley, walks through a group of gawkers, past the State Trooper, and says, "What are you doing?"
She says, "I'm going to commit suicide."

While he didn't want to appear "sensitive," he didn't want to miss a be-a-legend opportunity either so he asked ... "Well, before you jump, why don't you give me a kiss?"

With no hesitation at all, she leaned back over the railing and did just that ... and it was a long, deep, lingering kiss followed immediately by another one.

After the kissing was done, George gets approval from his biker-buddies, the onlookers, and even the State Trooper, and says, "Wow! That was the best kiss I have ever had Honey! That's a real talent you're wasting, Sugar Shorts. You could be famous if you rode with me. Why are you committing suicide?"

"My parents don't like me dressing up like a girl."

It's still unclear whether she jumped or was pushed.

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