Fishing Humour

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Post Options Post Options   Likes (0) Likes(0)   Quote Catchelot Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 11 May 2019 at 9:27am
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A little old lady was walking down the street dragging two large plastic garbage bags behind her. One of the bags was ripped and every once in a while a $20 fell out onto the sidewalk.

Noticing this, a policeman stopped her, and said, "Ma'am, there are $20 bills falling out of that bag."
"Oh, really? Darn it!" said the little old lady. "I'd better go back and see if I can find them. Thanks for telling me officer.

"Well, now, not so fast," said the cop.“Where did you get all that money? You didn't steal it, did you?"

"Oh, no, no", said the old lady. "You see, my back yard is right next to a Golf course.
A lot of Golfers come and pee through a knot hole in my fence, right into my flower Garden. It used to really tick me off. Kills the flowers, you know. Then I thought, 'why not make the best of it?

So, now, I stand behind the fence by the knot hole, real quiet, with my hedge clippers.
Every time some guy sticks his thing through my fence, I surprise him, grab hold of it and say, 'O.K., buddy! Give me $20, or off it comes.'

"Well, that seems only fair," said the cop, laughing. "OK. Good luck! Oh, by the way,
what's in the other bag?"

"Not everybody pays."LOLLOL
"The sea, once it casts its spell, holds one in its net of wonder forever." - Jacques Cousteau
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Post Options Post Options   Likes (1) Likes(1)   Quote bazza Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 11 May 2019 at 8:04pm
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Joined: 12 Dec 2006
Location: Mostlyinthepoo
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Sean was driving his car with Paddy as a passenger & Sean said.
 
Paddy me old mate I don't think the left hand indicators are working ... can you lean out your window as far as you can & see if they are or not?
 
Paddy did as he was asked & Sean said "Righto I am switching them on now .... are they working.
 
Paddy duly replied "Yes ... no ... yes ... no ... yes ... no ... yes ... no ...
When you cry, feel pain or sadness, no one notices your sorrow .... BUT
fart just ONE time !!!!!!!!!!!
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Post Options Post Options   Likes (1) Likes(1)   Quote bazza Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 13 May 2019 at 1:15pm
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Joined: 12 Dec 2006
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 Ms. Sally Mulligan of Coral Springs , Florida, read it, and decided to apply for one of the jobs that most Americans are not willing to do.

 

She submitted her application for a job in a Florida lemon grove, but seemed far too qualified for the job.

 

She has a liberal arts degree from the University of Michigan,and a master’s degree from Michigan State University.

 

For a number of years, she had worked as a social worker, and also as a school teacher.

 

The foreman studied her application, frowned and said, "I see that you are well educated, and have an impressive resume. However, I have to ask you, have you had any actual experience in picking lemons?”

 

"Well, as a matter of fact, I have," she said..."I've been divorced three times, owned two Chryslers and voted for Trump.”

 

She started work yesterday 

When you cry, feel pain or sadness, no one notices your sorrow .... BUT
fart just ONE time !!!!!!!!!!!
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Post Options Post Options   Likes (3) Likes(3)   Quote Catchelot Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 15 May 2019 at 6:54am
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"The sea, once it casts its spell, holds one in its net of wonder forever." - Jacques Cousteau
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Post Options Post Options   Likes (2) Likes(2)   Quote Catchelot Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 15 May 2019 at 6:56am
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"The sea, once it casts its spell, holds one in its net of wonder forever." - Jacques Cousteau
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Post Options Post Options   Likes (1) Likes(1)   Quote Catchelot Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 15 May 2019 at 6:57am
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"The sea, once it casts its spell, holds one in its net of wonder forever." - Jacques Cousteau
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Post Options Post Options   Likes (0) Likes(0)   Quote Catchelot Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 15 May 2019 at 2:17pm
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"The sea, once it casts its spell, holds one in its net of wonder forever." - Jacques Cousteau
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Post Options Post Options   Likes (0) Likes(0)   Quote Catchelot Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 15 May 2019 at 2:21pm
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"The sea, once it casts its spell, holds one in its net of wonder forever." - Jacques Cousteau
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Post Options Post Options   Likes (3) Likes(3)   Quote Catchelot Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 15 May 2019 at 2:22pm
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"The sea, once it casts its spell, holds one in its net of wonder forever." - Jacques Cousteau
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Post Options Post Options   Likes (2) Likes(2)   Quote spin king Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 16 May 2019 at 3:16pm
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Post Options Post Options   Likes (3) Likes(3)   Quote Marligator Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 16 May 2019 at 7:06pm
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Post Options Post Options   Likes (0) Likes(0)   Quote smudge Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 16 May 2019 at 8:16pm
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Spin King, that's an absolute classic.
Best gurnard fisherman in my street
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Post Options Post Options   Likes (0) Likes(0)   Quote smudge Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 16 May 2019 at 8:17pm
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Moderator - Ninja
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Marligator, pretty good, but it doesn't beat the Spin KingBig smile
Best gurnard fisherman in my street
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Post Options Post Options   Likes (0) Likes(0)   Quote Catchelot Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 17 May 2019 at 8:59am
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"The sea, once it casts its spell, holds one in its net of wonder forever." - Jacques Cousteau
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Post Options Post Options   Likes (1) Likes(1)   Quote Catchelot Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 17 May 2019 at 9:00am
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"The sea, once it casts its spell, holds one in its net of wonder forever." - Jacques Cousteau
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Post Options Post Options   Likes (0) Likes(0)   Quote lingee Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 17 May 2019 at 1:47pm
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nice 1
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Post Options Post Options   Likes (0) Likes(0)   Quote Catchelot Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 20 May 2019 at 9:50am
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"The sea, once it casts its spell, holds one in its net of wonder forever." - Jacques Cousteau
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Post Options Post Options   Likes (0) Likes(0)   Quote Catchelot Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 20 May 2019 at 9:51am
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"The sea, once it casts its spell, holds one in its net of wonder forever." - Jacques Cousteau
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Post Options Post Options   Likes (1) Likes(1)   Quote pjc Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 21 May 2019 at 5:55pm
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Post Options Post Options   Likes (0) Likes(0)   Quote Marligator Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 22 May 2019 at 5:06pm
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