THE DIFFERENCE IF YOU MARRY A MAORI GIRL
Three friends married women from different parts of the world.....
The first man married a Greek girl. He told her that she was to do the dishes and house cleaning.
It took a couple of days, but on the third day, he came home to see a clean house and dishes washed and put away.
The second man married a Thai.
He gave his wife orders that she was to do all the cleaning, dishes and the cooking.
The first day he didn't see any results, but the next day he saw it was better.
By the third day, he saw his house was clean, the dishes were done, and there was a huge dinner on the table.
The third man married a Maori girl from New Zealand.
He told her to keep the house cleaned, dishes washed, lawn mowed, laundry washed, and hot meals on the table for every meal.
A man in Ireland calls his son in London a few days before Christmas and says, "I hate to ruin your day but I have to tell you that your mother and I are divorcing; forty-five years of misery is enough".
"Dad, what are you talking about?'" the son screams.
"We can't stand the sight of each other any longer", the father says. "We're sick of each other and I'm sick of talking about this, so you call your sister in Leeds and tell her".
Frantically, the son calls his sister, who explodes on the phone, "Like hell, they're getting divorced", she shouts, "I'll take care of this".
She calls Ireland immediately and screams at her father, "You are NOT getting divorced. Don't do a single thing until I get there. I'm calling my brother back and we'll both be there tomorrow . Until then, don't do a thing, DO YOU HEAR ME?" and hangs up.
The old man hangs up his phone and turns to his wife. "Done! They're coming for Christmas - and they're paying their own way.
Catchelot wrote: |
smudge wrote:
I don't get it. |
An elderly Italian man who lived on the
outskirts of Rimini, Italy, went to the local church for
confession.
When the priest slid open the panel in the confessional, the
man said: "Father ... During World War II, a beautiful Jewish woman from our
neighbourhood knocked urgently on my door and asked me to hide her from the
Nazis. So I hid her in my attic."
The priest replied: "That was a
wonderful thing you did, and you have no need to confess
that."
"There is more to tell, Father... She
started to repay me with sexual favours. This happened several times a week, and
sometimes twice on
Sundays.'
The priest said, "That was a long time
ago and by doing what you did, you placed the two of you in great danger, but
two people under those circumstances can easily succumb to the weakness of the
flesh. However, if you are truly sorry for your actions, you are indeed
forgiven."
"Thank you, Father. That's a great load
off my mind. I do have one more question."
"And what is that?" asked the
priest.
"Should I tell her the war is
over?"
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