smudge wrote:
The sad thing is I sometimes throw the iki, bait knives, pliers, cleaning brush & everything else that's been on the bait board into a bucket of sea water and scrub it up before I set off home. I also fill a bucket with water to help scrub down the boat. Any water left I hurf over the side. There was this one time I threw a bucket full of everything I mentioned out, including about 6 slow jigs. I really wished there was someone else on the boat that day so I could blame them. True story |
He replies, "Yes, caffeine. I can't drink coffee."
"Have you ever served in the military?"
"Yes," he says, "I was in Iraq for two years."
The interviewer says, "That will give you 5 extra points toward employment."
Then he asks, "Are you disabled in any way?"
The guy says, "Yes. A bomb exploded near me and I lost both my testicles."
The interviewer grimaces and then says, "Okay. You've got enough points for me to hire you right now.
Our normal hours are from 8:00 am to 4:00 pm. You can start tomorrow at 10:00 am,
and plan on starting at 10:00 am every day."
The guy is puzzled and asks, "If the work hours are from 8:00 am to 4:00 pm,
why do you want me here only from 10:00 am?"
"This is a government job," the interviewer says. "For the first two hours,
we just stand around drinking coffee and scratching our balls. No point in you coming in for that."
Yesterday my daughter e-mailed me AGAIN, asking why I didn't do something useful with my time.
"Like sitting in a boat fishing and drinking wine before dinner is not a good thing?" I asked.
Talking about my "doing-something-useful" seems to be her favourite topic of conversation.
She was "only thinking of me," she said, and suggested that I go down to the Senior Centre and hang out with the fellows.I did this and when I got home last night, I decided to play a prank on her.
I e-mailed her and told her that I had joined a Parachute Club at the seniors centre. She replied, "Are you nuts?
You are 76-years-old and now you're going to start jumping out of airplanes?"
I told her that I even got a Membership Card and e-mailed a copy to her.
She immediately telephoned me and yelled, "Good grief, Dad, where are your glasses?!
This is a Membership to a Prostitute Club, not a Parachute Club."
"Oh man, I'm in trouble again," I said "I really don't know what to do.I signed up for five jumps a week!!"
The line went dead.
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