My wife walked by and asked me what I was doing and I said 'Nothing’.  The reason I said that instead of saying 'Just thinking' is because she would have said ‘About what?’

At that point I would have to explain that men are deep thinkers about various topics which would lead to other questions.  Finally I thought about an age old question:

• Is giving birth more painful than getting kicked in the nuts?

(Women always maintain that giving birth is way more painful than a guy getting kicked in the nuts).

Well, after another beer, and some heavy deductive thinking, I have come up with the answer to that question.  Getting kicked in the nuts is definitely more painful than having a baby; and here is the reason for my conclusion:

• A year or so after giving birth, a woman will often say, "It might be nice to have another child.”

• On the other hand, you never hear a guy say, "You know, I think I would like another kick in the nuts."

I rest my case.

Time for another beer.......

THE WINE TASTER

At a winery, the regular taster died and the director started looking for a new one to hire.

A drunkard with a ragged, dirty look came in to apply for the position.

The director of the winery wondered how to send him away.
He gave him a glass to drink.

The drunk tried it and said: 'It's a Muscat, three years old, grown on a north slope, matured in steel containers.
Low grade, but acceptable.'

"That's correct", said the boss.

Another glass.... 
“This is a Cabernet, eight years old, a south-western slope, oak barrels, matured at 8 degrees. Requires three more years for finest results'

"Correct."

A third glass...
"It's a Pinot Blanc Champagne , high grade and exclusive,''  the drunk said calmly.

 
The director was astonished.

He winked at his secretary, secretly suggesting something.
She left the room, and came back in with a glass of urine.

The alcoholic tried it.
It's a blonde, 26 years old, three months pregnant and if I don't get the job , I'll name the father."